You are hairy! Like animal! -- Ke$ha - Animal

Dear readers, I have a confession to make. I have a guilty pleasure. A pleasure I enjoy only when no one is home, and when I know I can never be discovered. Sometimes, I turn off the lights to make myself feel better about it. Yes, it is shameful to admit, but I still enjoy it all the same. I am talking, of course, about “Sailor Moon.” It’s probably a nostalgia thing, as I grew up watching it, but even though it’s not really meant for boys, there’s something about that show that just entertains me. However, “Sailor Moon” is not related in any way, shape or form, to today’s entry, except perhaps that they both have blond hair.

That’s right, we’re talking about Ke$ha! Ke$ha, that patron saint of holding your hair back while you puke. Her music is flighty, shallow, and ridiculously catchy; if you’re looking for an anthem for a night of hard drinkin’ and making duck-lips, there’s a good chance she’s got a song for you. You would think that 14 tracks of bratty white-girl would get monotonous, not to mention lower your IQ about 15 points, but Animal manages to surpass my expectations. Granted, there will be some necessary brain-powering-down to do at the door (or do what I do, and plant your tongue firmly in your cheek), but there’s a surprisingly good time here, if only because I’m surprised it’s not terrible.

You know. Duck-lips.

Animal is largely a dance-y affair, which you may already be familiar with from songs like “Tik Tok” and “Your Love is My Drug.” Most of the songs are mid-tempo, high energy tracks that are to a basement party what Lady Gaga is to a posh nightclub. Thematically, the album could conceivably be vignettes from one long night of partying, with tracks about hitting on dudes (and being hit on in return), causing minor drama, and gettin’ your drank on. Occasionally the album slows up, and, in a surprising change from the norm for singers that hang their hat on club tracks, the record doesn’t suffer for it; I think it’s because the songs are thematically similar to others on the disc (partying, but these songs are about coming down from the night’s highs), and they end up making the album feel cohesive instead of stopping the party dead.

I did not have high hopes for Animal. In fact, I would probably have never generated the interest to look into Ke$ha’s catalog of music if it hadn’t been for an episode of “The Simpsons.” This particular episode eschews the traditional ‘Round Springfield intro in favor of the cast lip-synching and dancing to, of all things, “Tik Tok.” Maybe it was the image of Lisa Simpson putting on Stunna Shades and singing “Wake up in the mornin’ feelin’ like P. Diddy,” but my interest was piqued enough to go back and listen to that sugary, infectious single. The rest is history.

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack.

While there is nothing on Animal that matches the heedless fun of “Tik Tok,” there are a few winners. “Your Love is My Drug” is a catchy, fun track with some cool-by-way-of-wack lines (“My steez is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love-sick crack head”), “Blah Blah” is great for a club setting with its dialtone synthesizers and imitable chorus (“ta-ta-ta-talkin’ ‘bout…”) that even a guest appearance by 3OH!3 can’t ruin, and “Take It Off” is a thumping dance track with a sing-song melody and odd snatches of acid techno. There are also a few songs that I ended up warming up to, like the low-key and self-explanatory “Boots and Boys,” and the snotty, but still-appealing, “Kiss and Tell.”

There are also a few songs that give me pause. “Party at a Rich Dude’s House” seems like a Weird Al style-parody of a Ke$ha song, but it ultimately ends up sounding hollow, as if it were just going through the motions. “Blind” is a slower song that for some reason just didn’t catch my fancy; perhaps there wasn’t enough pawrty in the lyrics. Finally, there’s “Dinosaur,” which I find HILARIOUS, but only in the sense that it’s being sold as legit music (“D.I.N.O.S.A. you are a dinosaur! D.I.N.O.S.A. you are a dinosaur! O.L.D.M.A.N. you’re just an old man! hittin’ on me whaaaaaat?! You need a cat scan!”).

D.I.N.O.S.A. you are a dinosaur!

So far, this sounds like a regular dance-pop record from the late 2000’s, and you’re not terribly wrong to think so. However, there are a couple things that stand out to me about Ke$ha. First and foremost is her writing style. Rather than making thematically-general songs, she makes songs that sound exactly like they were written by a bratty white chick in her early 20’s; throughout the album, she drinks heavily, macks on guys, and hits up every skeezy party in town. Compare this with her pop diva contemporary (and supposed homegirl) Katy Perry. Katy Perry writes songs that sound as though they could be sung by anyone (song about California, song about on-and-off relationship, etc). Ke$ha’s subject matter is rather specific, and is much more interesting to listen to as a result.

Second is her production style. Many of Ke$ha’s songs use the sung melody and synth line in an overlapping sort of way that helps one complement the other; it’s as though the two melodies team up to create a weird Venn Diagram of sound. Let’s use one of K.P.’s songs as an example: “California Gurls” vs. “Tik Tok.” Both are in the same key, use the same chord progression, have the same tempo, and utilize similar-sounding melodies. For my money, though, “Gurls” sounds way too busy, with not many elements sonically standing out to me (I’m also not a fan of her breathy singing style, but that’s neither here nor there). “Tik Tok” seems to subscribe to the Keep It Simple Stupid school of song design: there’s a bass line, an uncomplicated drum track, a simple-but-wicked synth line, and a mostly-rapped and mostly-sang-on-one-note vocal performance. Ke$ha simply does more with less, and this odd lack of the kitchen sink (especially for a record in 2010) is strangely endearing to me.

Bottom line: if you didn’t like “Tik Tok” or the other Ke$ha singles that have been released, give Animal a wide berth; there’s nothing here that will change your mind. However, if you don’t mind a bit of shallow, drunk b@%#$ music, and can listen to your tunes ironically, give it a shot—there’s definitely some fun to be had, and if you ever find yourself in a place where you need some melodies to make some duck-lips to, you’ll be covered.

Our Feature Presentation (4/49) -- Bolt (2008)

In the 90’s, Disney dominated the animation market with an iron fist. In general, anyone who stepped up to compete in the animated film arena (20^th Century Fox, Universal Studios, and even the Bluthinator himself) was promptly cut down. Disney wrote the rules of the modern animated family feature, and no one could match their efforts in quality.

Unfortunately, by the time the early 2000’s rolled around, audiences had grown a bit numb to the by then well-worn Disney formula (read: musical comedies with broad follow-you-dreams stories and Broadway showtunes). It was at this time that a surly, green ogre crawled its way out of its swamp and stole the crown from the once-mighty champion. Audiences found that they liked the rapid-fire pop culture references, and the newfound, slightly cynical approach to the movie’s fairy tale source material was a welcome change to the naivety and boundless optimism of Disney’s stable of films. The film was also accompanied by a stylistic change in animation—rather than drawn on paper, the entire movie was created in CG, similar to what Pixar had done six years earlier with Toy Story. The new look and new attitude became the new vogue for the industry, and it would take Disney several years before it could launch a CG counter-offensive.

This entry is not about that movie. Nor is this entry a soapbox on how the movie industry learned the wrong lessons from The Little Ogre that Could’s success (for all of its cynicism and audience-winking, Shrek is a movie that has quite a bit of heart, an element that is present in every notable Disney flick; its contemporaries, not so much). Instead, it’s on Disney’s 48^th animated feature, and fourth venture into the CG arena, Bolt.

Just sayin'

Bolt starts in Silver Lake Animal Shelter, where a small puppy is playing with a squeezy toy that is shaped like a carrot. A young girl, Penny (Miley Cyrus) enters the shop and buys the puppy. The film then enters movie trailer mode (“5 Years Later,” the dramatic, futuristic text tells us). We learn that Penny’s father has been kidnapped by an evil genius enigmatically known as The Green-Eyed Man, and that Bolt (the puppy from earlier) has been given super powers by Penny’s father in order to protect her. We witness Bolt evade henchmen, dodge missiles, and vault helicopters (in slow motion) in a surprisingly well-choreographed action sequence. The sequence is also surprisingly well-punctuated by humor; in one moment, a helicopter explodes, and then we cut to a soda cup on the opposite side of a lake lightly wiffing over from the shockwave. The sequence ends with Bolt performing his pièce de résistance, the Superbark, and single-handedly (-pawedly?) defeating an entire legion of goons.

The movie then changes gears entirely and we cut to a movie studio, where a television producer patiently explains to a TV executive (“Mindy, from the network” her refers to her as) that the whole show is made as “real” as possible so that Bolt, thinking it’s real, can perform levels of method acting that would make even Daniel Day-Lewis jealous (Robert Downey Jr.’s character from Tropic Thunder comes to mind).

One of these two is not a lead-farmer

Mindy From The Network says that the program needs to change up its formula and get higher ratings, or the whole show gets shut down. The next episode is arranged as a cliff-hanger, where Penny is kidnapped by The Green-Eyed Man. Unfortunately, Bolt still thinks the program is real, and promptly tries to escape the studio. One thing leads to another, and Bolt finds himself in New York City, unaware that his whole life is a shame, and that things don't sporadically burst into flames if he stares at them really hard.

The rest of the film has Bolt making his way cross-country, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey-style, learning that he’s just a regular dog, but knowing that he still loves Penny. Along the way, he meets up with alley cat Mittens (Susie Essman) and hamster Rhino (Mark Walton, a story artist for the film whose storyboard performance for the character was so well-liked that he was hired to voice the character for the main film). Meanwhile, Penny tries to deal with the loss of Bolt as best she can.

I remember seeing the trailer for this one when I went to see Wall-E back in 2008. I remember being rather unimpressed; the movie looked like an uninspired CG cash-in, and the fact that it primary cast consisted of John Travolta and Miley Cyrus did nothing to assuage my fears (my dislike of celebrity stunt-casting is deep-seated). Imagine my surprise, when all was said and done, that I ended up liking this movie quite a bit.

This will be on the test

Something to keep in mind: this movie is not necessarily an innovative take on the "everything you know on TV is wrong" genre of film-making (of which there are a surprising number of participants). It hits most of the major stops on the way: delusions that the whole thing is real, the cognitive dissonance of finding that s@$# is fake, growing and moving past it, etc. What really differentiates Bolt from being a toothless (though still particularly safe) entry in the Disney canon are its little touches. There are a host of small "aha" moments and small gags peppered throughout the film that contribute to its level of humor, though nothing that takes away from the basic emotional appeal of the movie at large. True, it doesn't take any huge risks, but it aims to please rather than challenge, and there are a fair few things to be pleased about with Bolt.

The one thing that really caught my attention in this movie is how profound an understanding it has of the behind-the-scenes aspect of movie-making and show biz. The TV producer and Mindy From The Network’s discussion of focus groups and 18-35 year-old demographics is a hoot, and the movie shows a lot of insight into the goings-on of a successful television program; small things like a cast member referring to a makeup artist by their first name or cueing up a special effects shot make the production seem a lot less slapdash than most films about TV shows, which usually amount to a director yelling things through a megaphone. No one exemplifies the small ways Bolt understands the biz better than Penny’s agent, who is an absolute toolbox, with his smarmy, slightly-condescending mannerisms wrapped in an oily rag of upbeat, faux-cheerfulness (he also has a Bluetooth headset permanently attached to his head. Toolbox).

Home Depot.

Bolt’s art style falls somewhere between Shrek’s uber-realistic look and Despicable Me’s over-the-top caricatures (i.e., some characters are more cartoony than others). I was impressed by the small details in the way the animals were animated, like the slightly-unnerving twitches from the pigeon characters (it looks EXACTLY like real pigeons) and the pads on Bolt’s paws. Another interesting and cool-looking choice was the backgrounds; there are several points during the movie where the background appears to be an oil-painted canvas, which gave the landscapes a nice warm look.

I think my most pleasant surprise can from the voice work. As I mentioned before, the two primary cast members are John Travolta and Miley Cyrus, and their names are on the bloody movie poster. When all is said and done, though, everyone in the cast does a great job bringing their characters to life. The best thing I can say for Travolta’s performance is that I never felt like I was watching John Travolta voice an animated dog; he injects his performance with humor, emotion, and general enthusiasm, and I was too caught up in the character to think who really was voicing him. Penny’s casting smells of Disney cross-brand marketing (indeed, Penny was originally voiced by Hit-Girl, and she allegedly recorded lines for the entire movie before Cyrus was brought on-board), but Cyrus does an excellent job of keeping her character expressive. Essman, whom you may remember as the foul-mouthed wife of Larry David’s manager on HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm, is sarcastic and sympathetic, and gives her character lots of depth. Walton is an absolute riot. All of this is helped along with some great facial animation, helping turn the actors’ lines into stellar performances.

Bolt has a number of little touches that help add up to be more than the sum of their parts. What could have been a pretty ordinary movie (and sort of is, in terms of story progression) is instead a fun, well-rounded road movie that finds a fine balance between quippy humor, real excitement, and, yes, a whole lot of heart.

Top Three Songs:

• N/A

Favorite Scene:

• The climactic rescue on the soundstage

Favorite Character:

• Bolt

The Jar-Jar:

• Rhino (I liked him, but I imagine there will be some who will be off-put by his fanboyisms, over-enthusiasm, and liberal usage of the word “awesome”)

How I Watched It:

Bolt is not only the first CG film we’ve covered on Our Feature Presentation, it’s also the first Blu-ray as well! This one was bought from Movie Gallery in Belgrade’s going-out-of-business sale, and, unfortunately, did not come with the advertised DVD and digital copy of the film. I also needed to find an extra Blu-ray case for it, as it came in a regular DVD case (yeah, I really didn’t think it through much at the time). Fortunately, I was able to jack my roommate’s case to his largely unwatched copy Constantine, so I was able to make things alright in the end.

Fortunately, the disc itself is excellent. Blu-ray makes the picture positively pop out of the screen, with long blades of grass and the fur on Bolt and Rhino looking especially cool. The disc also has a host of extras, but unfortunately nothing of too much substance; there’s a neat bit on the in-the-studio stuff with the voice actors (something that I’m all-too-happy to watch), but both other Behind The Scenes docs are between four and six minutes long (the movie’s history was supposedly a difficult one, so I suppose I can see why it may have been glossed-over for promotional purposes (see, not condone, though)). There’s also a short film with Rhino, a music video for the ending song, “I Thought I’d Lost You.”

Unfortunately, Bolt was released on Blu-ray at a time when the technology was younger, and there are significantly more and longer loading times on the disc than other Disney Blu-rays (or other newer Blu-rays in general). Not a deal-breaker, but something to note.

Our Feature Presentation (3/49) -- Cinderella (1950)

Part of the reason I decided to do this series (other than a dearth of good ideas and penis envy) is that there are a great many Disney flicks I just flat-out haven’t seen. I did grow up with a fair few of them, and have seen even more thanks to Netflix, but there remain a select few that have still managed to evade me after all this time. There also exist several that I have only mostly seen. That is, I’m familiar with the goings-on and plot points and characters, but just haven’t been able to see the whole experience all the way through. One of these films is today’s entry, Cinderella.

We’ve all heard the tale of “Cinderella,” that paragon of working diligently and keeping your head in the clouds. Heck, thanks to years of rereleasing and constant marketing, I’m pretty sure more people are familiar with the Disney version than the traditional version, which is just as well, as the OG one is a trifle short. As such, I knew mostly what I was in for going into the movie, but was still pleasantly surprised in places that I did and didn’t expect.

Our tale begins with a wealthy man named Tremaine and his beautiful daughter, Cinderella. Tremaine and Cinderella have a nice, father-daughter relationship where she brings him joy and she receives “everything her heart desired” (as you can see, the Daddy’s Little Girl trope extended even further back than we may have initially guessed), but Tremaine is lonely, and wants his daughter to have a mother figure. In a great twist of Famous Last Words irony, he marries a woman (bringing her two daughters into the family), then promptly keels over, setting up the whole “wicked stepmother and two ugly stepsisters” bit that distinguishes this tale.

Eh. They could be worse.

We flash forward an indistinct amount of time. The narrator informs us that Cinderella was put into servitude since her father’s death, but she is still good-natured and kind, despite being harangued around and forced to constantly do the bidding of her other family members. She wiles away the time, singing while she works (effectively one-upping Snow White, who apparently can only whistle) and making friends with the household, er, vermin (whom she also makes clothes for, btw; she’s either rather considerate or rather mad).

One day, as we can recite by heart, the king calls for a ball to find his son a wife, and all are invited, including Cinderella. However, thanks to some sleight-of-hand manipulation by her stepmother (and exceptional cattiness from her stepsisters), Cinderella is left behind, without a dress or any trimmings to go to the ball.

Just then, Cinderella’s fairy godmother (read: plot device) appears to her and grants her not only a dress, but a coach, coachman, and four white horses to go along with it! She must be back by midnight, however, because the spell is broken “on the stroke of twelve.” Cinderella goes to the ball, catches the interest of the prince, and could have daaaaanced all night when the clock strikes twelve. Knowing what will probably happen, she GTFOs without telling the prince her name, leaving behind only a glass slipper (heaven knows why these were a good idea; maybe it’s the arch support).

Couldn't they bother to sweep that stuff up first?

Will the prince be reunited with the fair but obedient Cinderella? Will the other broads try to make the slipper fit on their feet? Will Cinderella be the only one whom the shoe fits in the whole kingdom? Oh, what do you think? If I sound like I’m hatin’, I’m not; while the story is full of plot devices and catches, the idea for Cinderella has been around for so long that it’s best to just take it at face value. Not only that, I rather enjoyed my time with this one.

Probably the biggest thing that stands out for me is the tone of this movie. From as soon as the film segues out of the storybook portion and into the main experience, it has an overwhelming sense of joviality and cheerfulness that is absolutely infectious. In a day and age when so much of the entertainment industry has become exceptionally cynical (heck, even read the plot synopsis of this entry!), it feels quite refreshing for a movie to be completely unironic about a character who spends her morning’s getting-ready period being assisted by the birds. The music, art style, colors, and plot progression all contribute to a wonderful sense of levity, and I found it to be quite catching.

For a character that is, for all intents and purposes, a non-entity in her own film, I found Cinderella to be a surprisingly endearing. You could argue that she seems rather bland, and that her character isn’t terribly fleshed-out (and I wouldn’t necessarily argue with you), but I found her portrayal appealing for some reason. I saw her as making the most out of her lot, realizing that there’s not much she can do to fight city hall, so she holds herself with an air of serenity, waiting for a good moment to seize the day. Passive? Perhaps. But she was a heroine who I ended up rather liking, of only to probably satisfy my deep-seating male chauvinist side.

She's a bit of a looker, too, isn't she fellas?

The music was also quite fun, both score and songs. I’m a fan of the pop-music stylings of the 40’s, and many of the songs have certain melodies and –isms that couldn’t have come from anywhere else (the mice’s harmonies in “Cinderelly” come to mind). I’m a fan of nonsense-words and list-making songs, so I really enjoyed “Bippity-Boppety-Boo,” and appreciated the rhythmic spoken word sections said aloud by the Fairy Godmother (who sounds like she has a slight Irish brogue). The score makes use of string-plucks and bassoons, and sounds like many other Disney shorts of the era, and is used to accentuate the timing of several jokes.

There are a few other elements that helped make the film for me. I’m generally not a fan of flat art styles, but I found the backgrounds to be quite attractive (the interior of Lady Tremaine’s bedroom is especially well-constructed). In addition, there were a few scenes that were just pretty and impressive, like the “Sing Sweet Nightingale” scene, where Cinderella cleans the floor and her soap bubble reflections harmonize with her. The voice cast is also nice, with the standout being Eleanor Audley as Lady Tremaine, who is clipped, harsh, and just this side of reasonable, making her a perfect authority figure villain. Lastly, and it’s a bit odd, but I found the design of Cinderella’s bird friends to be unreasonably cute.

Seriously, look at these little guys!

The movie has a few sticking points for me, though. For the first part, the mice have a fairly good-sized chunk of the movie to themselves; there are at least three major sequences involving Jack, Gus, or the whole mousy troupe. This got a little frustrating, as they seemed to get in the way of the story (though the story of Cinderella is admittedly not the deepest narrative and could use some padding), and I got a bit peeved at Gus constantly having pratfalls and otherwise messing things up for the mice. The issue of the mice talking with Cinderella kinda got to me as well. Cinderella “talks” to her animal friends, but it seems to be more of an excuse to vocalize her thoughts. When it comes to the mice, though, they speak in an odd, repetitive bit of English, and I couldn’t tell if Cinderella could hear them or not.

Um, yeah, what's not not to like?

These are small quibbles, though, and Cinderella is ultimately a satisfying experience, surprisingly so for a male in his early twenties. The optimism and pep-in-step vibe of the film helps it stand out, and the ending is gratifying, even after so many renditions of the tale have been told. This movie almost single-handedly brought Disney back from the brink when it first came out, and it deserves a place in any Disney fan’s catalog.

Top 3 Songs:

1. Bippidty-Boppety-Boo
2. A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes
3. So This Is Love

Favorite Scene:

• "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes"/getting ready

Favorite Character:

• Lady Tremaine

The Jar Jar:

• Gus
  

How I Watched It:

Acquiring my copy for this entry was a bit of an adventure. The price was hovering around $25 on Amazon for several weeks, so I found one on eBay for around $16 with shipping. Unfortunately, the disc case, packaging, and movie itself seemed, well, a bit pirated (the risk you take buying things on the internet, especially eBay), and it wouldn’t play in my DVD player (neither the PS3 or Xbox 360 recognized it as playable). I was able to get my money back (which is the only reason why this particular eBay vendor is going unnamed), but I was still rendered without a copy. Fortuitously, my parents happened to have a copy on DVD, so I borrowed it for this particular viewing. Worry not, dear readers, I ordered a new one with my refunded money, and will own it again soon.

Anyway, this is another Platinum Edition, similar to The Lion King’s release last time. The movie has been restored, apparently, and while there’s no real visual splendor, the colors and art look good even on a large TV. The first disc doesn't have a commentary, and basically can be skipped if you're foraging for extras (but for heaven's sake, watch the movie!). The second disc has an extensive 40-minute doc on Cinderella and various aspects, including story origins, musical composition, and historical significance. There are also a few other featurettes, but I didn't get a chance to watch them yet.

As with most of the out-of-print DVD market, the price for a copy of Cinderella fluctuates wildly, and being a “beloved classic” certainly doesn’t help with its occasional foray into sky-high cost territory. However, at the moment, you should be able to find several copies on Amazon for around $13-$15. Get ‘em while they’re reasonable.

Our Feature Presentation (2/49) -- The Lion King (1994)

As I mentioned in my Atlantis piece, I was a child of the 90’s, and you’d better believe The Lion King was everywhere when I was a kid. It sold jillions of copies on VHS, had a spin-off TV show (a fate that many of its successful contemporaries shared), and sparked Hakuna Matata as a way of life. AFI recently placed it near the top of their 10 Best Animated Features list in 2008, and it was a staple for millions of boys (and probably girls) who grew up during one or both Clinton administrations.

But enough with the accolades, let’s get to the damn movie. The plot (as if you didn’t know) centers around Simba (Jonathan Taylor Thomas), a young lion cub who was born to be king of Pride Rock, the local pride of lions, and basically the entire Savannah. He thinks this is pretty sweet, but his uncle Scar (Jeremy Irons) would rather have the throne for himself. In that nice fratricidical pattern that accompanies most programs about royalty (or royalty in general), Scar orchestrates the death of present-king Mufasa (James Earl Jones), and attempts to do-away with Simba. Simba escapes, however, and finds himself wandering through the desert (think Exodus, but less Promise Land).

Simba nearly dies whilst desert-spelunking, when he befriends meerkat and warthog duo Timon (Nathan Layne) and Pumbaa (Ernie Sabella), two outcasts whose motto is in essence “when the world’s got a problem with you, eff ‘em.” This leads to a sojourn of ramblin’ man years where Simba grows into adulthood (and is now voiced by Matthew Brodrick), all while Pride Rock goes to hell in a hand basket under the reign of Scar. Simba is sought out by his childhood friend Nala (Moira Kelly), who tells him he needs to reclaim the throne and give Scar the ol’ what’s-what. Simba recoils at first, but soon comes to his senses, returns, and steps up as the one true king.

Oh hell yes.

You already know that. Of course you do. If you are reading this blog, there is absolutely no way you or someone you know hasn’t already seen this. Hell, my little brother’s about six and a half, and he still watches it on the same VHS that my mom bought for me when I was his age (ironic for a movie whose primary theme is the Circle of Life). As such, I will dispatch with any complex theme analyses, Hamlet comparisons, and conspiracy theories (controversial dust-letters and anime plagiarism are two glasses of Kool-Aid I do not drink from), because, let’s face it, you’ve already heard them. No, instead I’ll be talking about what jumped out at me from my most recent viewing.

The biggest thing I noticed about The Lion King was how incredibly GORGEOUS this movie is. I’ve always balked at the flossy effects-animation in the Don Bluth movies, but I’ll be damned if this isn’t one of the flossiest movies in the Disney canon in terms of effects, visual tricks, and flat-out looking pretty. The movie’s opening scene sets the tone for what’s to follow; we’re greeted with shadows, dust clouds, water splashes, depth-of-field shots, and that awesome, sweeping camera movement as we follow Zazu (Rowan Atkinson) over the pride lands and gawk at all of the animals below. This high bar of non-pretentious “We put more into our effects animation budget than you did into your whole movie” mentality carries throughout the entire experience, culminating with a climactic fight on a burning Pride Rock (check out the ash floating around!) and Simba’s ascension to his throne amidst the rain and steam. This movie gets released onto Blu-ray next fall, and watching it will probably trigger something that was mentioned in a Lonely Island song.

Pretty doggone impressive, if you ask me.

The second thing that I really appreciated was how the film sets up Mufasa and Simba’s relationship from early on in the movie. Mufasa is a noble, strong character, but he still is able to be warm and caring with his son; many kudos go to Jones for being able to command such respect with his voice, then softening it the very next moment. Simba basically acts like a regular kid from the 90’s; JTT plays him straight, with no forced cutesiness, making him easy to identify with, especially for someone who remembers what it was like being a regular kid in the 90’s. Between the two, they create a very real, very touching father-son relationship, making Mufasa’s death later in the film that much more tragic (Simba trying to wake his father, then hopelessly curling down beside him is way more affecting now that I’m older).

One of my favorite aspects of The Lion King that has drastically improved over time is the music. Yes, everyone loves “Hakuna Matata,” “The Circle of Life” is probably one of the coolest ways to kick off the film, and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” went on to become one of the most ubiquitous love songs of the 90’s. Now that I’m grown, however, and listen to more film soundtracks (makes concentrating on writing easier), I have a newfound appreciation for this score. There are many things that can be said about Hans Zimmer’s composing style, but I think it works perfectly for a movie of this grandeur. It sweeps when the movie needs sweeping, excites when the movie calls for excitement, and steps back when the movie wants us to goggle at the animation. In particular, I love the African-inspired touches, like certain unusual percussion instruments, or that wind-flute thing that the main theme is played on. Also, can I give a shout out to “Be Prepared” as one of the most fun villain songs of the Renaissance?

The ambiance the music adds to scenes like this is something else.

I would also like to call attention to the casting in this movie. If you’ve read the parentheticals in this entry (and you could probably chop your reading-time in half if you skipped them), you’ll have noticed a few big names. Oh heck, let’s just reiterate them: Matthew Broderick, James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons, Nathan Lane, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopie Goldberg, Cheech Marin, and Jonathan Taylor Thomas (eight seasons of “Home Improvement” say he’s a big name, okay?!). You’d think with all of this talent, this movie would turn into a Shark Tale-esque game of I See What You Did There With The Voices, but the one thing that always fascinates me about Disney is that their celebrity stunt-casting never sounds like celebrity stunt-casting. Each star brings their considerable talents (yes, even Nathan Lane) without sounding like an actor behind a microphone, and the characters shine because of it.

In particular, I must give props to Irons’ performance as Scar. Cool, calculating, but with a hint of a smirk, the guy is just plain bad. The “oh s@$#” moment that stood out for me this time is how he capitalizes on Simba’s sorrow after Mufasa’s death. Simba is reeling from the shock of seeing his father killed, and Scar steps up to pin the blame solely on him; “Simba, what have you done?” he demands, with mingled horror and gravity. He tells Simba to run away “and never return,” then when Simba takes off, he remorselessly and without expression tells his hyena protégés, “Kill him.” So cold.

"Long. Live. The king."

A few key scenes, then I’ll wrap up. I still love the scene where Mufasa appears in the sky to Simba, with distant thunder rumbling and the outline of the once-mighty king appearing in the clouds. I also now think that the wildebeest stampede is one of the most thrilling animation sequences I’ve ever seen; the timing, the animation, the music, and the outcome all come together in one sublime and exhilarating ride. Lastly, I appreciate the ending shot of the coronation of a new king, as if the movie is saying, “This is where we came in.”

The Lion King has received its fair share of hype (and, as such, its fair share of haters) over the years, but I truly think it is one of Disney’s best. The animation quality, the characters, the music (two words: Lebo M), and the story help make this a complete, excellent package, and well-deserving of the praise it has garnered since its release.

Top 3 Songs:

1. Be Prepared
2. The Circle of Life
3. Hakuna Matata

Favorite scene:

• The wildebeest stampede (and aftermath)

Favorite character:

• Scar

The Jar Jar:

• Zazu

How I Watched It:

I picked this up in 2008 at The Movie Dungeon in Bozeman (formerly Bad Taste Records), well after it was out of print, and running me a tab of $28. It was pretty damn worth it, however, as the thing looks absolutely gorgeous on a decent TV (all the better to view the flossy effects animation). It also has a commentary from directors Roger Allers and Rob Minkoff, as well as producer Don Hahn (I double-taked when I read that; this guy obviously has a flare for the epic). The commentary is pretty insightful, and it’s fun to listen to all three banter back and forth about the different scenes.

The Lion King was the third in Disney’s Platinum series of DVDs, and as such it’s chock-full of bonus features (though they’re scattered all over the second disc, making watching them less of a casual viewing and more of a dedicated procedure). Most of these are on the second disc, but the first disc has an alternate cut of the movie, with a new song “The Morning Report” (it goes in the place where Zazu is making that series of animal-related puns in the form of a news story). The song’s okay, but because I’m up my own ass about nostalgia, I generally opt for the theatrical cut.

As I mentioned above, this DVD set will run you a pretty penny, as it went back in the moratorium way back in 2004. However, Disney has announced that they are re-releasing The Lion King next fall on Blu-ray and DVD, so if you can stick it out for a year, I would do so.