Our Feature Presentation (12/50) -- The Aristocats (1970)

Our second pet movie in a row, we’ve now arrived at The Aristocats. I didn’t have this one growing up, so I was able to go into this one fresh. I’ll be honest: based on my antipathy for Robin Hood, I thought I wouldn’t like this one at all. While The Aristocats certainly isn’t one of my favorites, I think I can understand all of the (nostalgia-based) fuss it receives.

The Aristocats begins much the same way Robin Hood does, with a leathery-looking title card, a short song, and some animation footage that we’ll see later on in the movie (fortunately, it’s all pencil work, so it at least looks more interesting). We then transition to “Paris 1910,” where a fabulously wealthy woman (simply known as “Madame”) is making out her will. She decides to bequeath all of her possessions to her four cats: Duchess (Eva Gabor) and her three children, Berlioz (Dean Clark), Toulouse (Gary Dubin), and Marie (Liz English).

This, of course, does not sit well with her eavesdropping butler, Edgar (Roddy Maude-Roxby), who was expecting to be the main recipient. Fortunately for Edgar, Madame’s possessions will go to him in the event the cats pass away. Getting a clever idea, Edgar decides to dispose of the cats, rather than wait for them to expire naturally.

This won't end well.

Edgar slips the felines a mickey and cat-naps them, stealing them away on his motorcycle. His plan goes well, until he runs into two dogs down a country road, Napoleon and Lafayette (Pat Buttram and George Lindsay, who have the same exact relationship they both had in Robin Hood, where they played the Sheriff and Nutsy, respectively). Our two named-for-a-general canines give Edgar a good chase, and during the ensuing chaos, Edgar loses the basket containing the cats. Duchess and co. wake up to find themselves in the middle of the provincial Paris countryside, and spend a frightened and rainy night together.

The next morning, they are found by Thomas O’Malley (Phil Harris), who, after a brief and surprisingly sexual attempt to hit on Duchess, volunteers to take them back to Paris. Along the way, they meet a colorful cast of geese, mice, and swingin’, jazz-playin’ cats. Will Duchess, O’Malley, and the gang make it back home? Will they somehow find a way to deal with Edgar? Will there be musical numbers and pratfalls aplenty? Ehhh, could be.

The story is hardly unpredictable, but is nonetheless pleasant.

The Aristocats is as toothless and inoffensive as you might expect for a movie from the Disney Dark Ages. It seems designed for children in almost every way, from the non-threatening villain, to the random musical numbers, to the general pleasant vibe throughout the entire film. That said, The Aristocats is also mildly entertaining; the characters, writing, and songs are just this side of mediocre, and make for a decent entertainment experience. It’s a movie whose greatest sin is that it’s, well, kinda boring throughout, but I’ll take “boring and pleasant” over most of the kiddie tripe that’s released nowadays.

Part of what fails to sell me on The Aristocats is the overall plot setup. Madame is, for all intents and purposes, a Crazy Cat Lady. A filthy rich one, to be sure, but a Crazy Cat Lady nonetheless—who besides a Crazy Cat Lady would decide to leave all of her earthly possessions to her cats, or take in all of the stray cats in Paris? I know, her will is the film’s MacGuffin, and isn’t the point of the story, but I’m still hung up on the legality of leaving umpteen thousand francs to one’s house pets. That said, all talk of the will goes out the window when Duchess meets O’Malley, and this is where the movie hits its, er, stride.

I made a big to-do about Xerography in my Robin Hood entry, about how the film looked sketchy and cheap. Imagine my surprise when I found The Aristocats even more sketchy-looking than Robin Hood. Several characters look like they’re in a bloody pencil test, and the effect is even more distracting compared to how clean some of the others look. Fortunately, The Aristocats looks much better in motion than Robin Hood, with all of the cats looking and behaving like cats.

...eugh.

For a xerography film, The Aristocats has some decent voicework in it. Phil Harris’s hepcat-isms are still pretty jarring for post-Victorian France, but they work better for the O’Malley than they did for Little John. Duchess has all of the delicacy and beauty you expect from a character voiced by Eva Gabor, and her performance makes me look forward to when I get to The Rescuers. Berliouz, Toulouse, and Marie are mercifully without extra cute-isms; granted, they still act like obnoxious snots from the late 60’s, but they also don’t have any “Mine yo mannows” moments either, and I almost wept with gratitude.

The other characters are pretty incidental, but they, like the rest of the film, are mildly entertaining enough to justify being there. My favorite is a mouse named Roquefort (see what they did there?), a friend of Duchess who demonstrates lots of pluck and charisma (I also happen to adore the sound of Sterling Holloway’s voice, but that’s neither here nor there).

He even looks like he's voiced by Sterling Holloway.

Musically, The Aristocats sounds almost identical to Robin Hood. Both films take their cues from the same school of Non-Entity Soundtracks, and they use the exact same xylophone and brass parts for suspenseful scenes. Again, it’s not exactly bad, per se, but alarmingly not there (there also doesn’t seem to be much underscoring either, which falls right in line with movie trends in the 1970’s).

Songwise, there doesn’t seem to be much going on (with one notable exception). The movie kicks off with “The Aristocats,” a jaunty, accordion-filled French tune that I can almost assure you is not on any Best of Disney compilation. From there, we get “Scales and Arpeggios,” a vocal warm-up song that is reasonably cute (the kids are obviously untrained, but they still sound worlds better than “Somewhere Out There”); it wasn’t quite my bag, but several of my friends really like it for some reason. “Thomas O’Malley Cat” is superfluous, but still fun. Which brings us to the film’s most well-known song: “Ev’rybody Wants to be a Cat.” Where the other three songs were fairly pedestrian, “Ev’rybody” is a full-on catchy riot; I’m a bit biased towards jazzy-sounding numbers, but it’s got a great tune and loads of energy, which push it right over the top for me.

Taste the rainbow.

One thing that surprised me about this movie was the writing. Though not Oscar quality by any means, I was surprised at the how cultured the movie is. Early on, two of the main characters dance to the aria from “Carmen” (which you may have already heard in another animated feature), and later on there’s a cooking joke, which is unsurprising, considering the movie takes place in France. There are also a few well-timed gags that worked well for me (I’m always a sucker for parallel structure jokes).

The Aristocats is, really, a movie aimed primarily at children, but is pleasant enough to recommend if you need something for the kids to watch. Honestly, it’d be a great movie for when you’re sick and need something undemanding; the movie ambles by at a slow rate, and the lack of anything properly terrible gives a nice feeling for being comfortably numb. There’s not much for adults on a non-nostalgic level, but the movie is fun enough, and it respects its audience, even if said audience is ages about 6-12.

Top 3 Songs:

1. “Ev’rybody Wants to be a Cat”
2. “Thomas O’Malley Cat”
3. “Scales and Arpeggios”

Favorite scene:

• The “Ev’rybody Wants to be a Cat” number (I digs me some psychedelic colors)

Favorite character:

• Roquefort

The Jar Jar:

• Roquefort (yes, my favorite character, but let’s be honest: it's this guy)

How I Watched It

Procuring The Aristocats was far less painful than Lady and the Tramp, which is to be expected from a movie that’s still in-print. The Aristocats is shown in 1.78:1 widescreen, advertised on the back of the box as the “Original Theatrical Ratio;” there’s some controversy as to whether or not this is true, but it fills up my widescreen TV, so I’m not terribly unsatisfied. Colors are a bit muted (this is a Xerography movie, after all), but are about as good as can be expected, and the sound also gets the job done for its modest soundtrack.

The Aristocats has slightly more extras than Robin Hood’s DVD, which helps support my theory that a Disney movie's belovedness is directly proportional to the amount of bonus features it comes with. Included is a small piece about the Sherman Brothers’ work on the movie, an image gallery, and a deleted song. There’s also a short, quasi-educational subject titled “The Great Cat Family” on the history of the domesticated cat; I love these kinds of shorts to an extent that I can’t adequately explain, and this one amused me greatly. Lastly is a Figaro short called “Bath Day,” which will satisfy fans of Pinocchio’s favorite kitty cat.

Our Feature Presentation (11/50) -- Lady and the Tramp (1955)

An uncontested member of the Disney Classics pantheon, Lady and the Tramp is perhaps the most- and least-remembered out of the entire Disney canon. On one hand is the immortal “Bella Notte” scene, where our titular characters dine together on a plate of spaghetti and (surprise!) kiss while eating the same noodle. On the other hand is the entire rest of the film. Seriously, if you hadn’t seen it in a while, could you tell me what happens in this movie? What it’s about? This is not a diss on Lady and the Tramp, which is a fine addition to the canon and deserving of its Classic status, but rather a statement on how the film’s popularity is derived from a single scene (“Romeo and Juliet” also suffers from this, but that’s neither here nor there).

Yes, yes, there's the spaghetti scene, but what else happens in this movie?

Set in 1909, Lady and the Tramp begins on Christmas Eve, with a married couple (we only know them by their nicknames: Jim Dear and Darling) exchanging Christmas present. Darling (Peggy Lee; yes, that Peggy Lee) receives a puppy from Jim Dear (Lee Millar), and decides to call her “Lady.”

A good chunk of the early parts of the film play out in episodic spurts. We watch Lady (Barbara Luddy) grow up, and how Jim Dear and Darling dote on her. We also meet Lady’s friends, Jock (Bill Thompson) and Trusty (Bill Baucom), a Scottish Terrier and Bloodhound respectively, and eventually catch sight of The Tramp (Larry Roberts) scrounging for food among the local businesses. Lady deals with the loss of attention when Darling becomes expecting, and the film follows her from being jealous of the new baby to wanting to protect it.

It's not the primary plot line per se, but the beginning baby story is a cute and reasonably satisfying way to be introduced to the film's cast.

Lady’s real narrative arc begins to take shape when Jim Dear and Darling take a short trip and leave both the baby and Lady in the care of Aunt Sarah (Vera Felton, whom we last saw as the Fairy Godmother in Cinderella). Sarah hates Lady, and tries to fit her with a muzzle, but Lady escapes, only to be cornered by three vicious dogs. The Tramp steps in to rescue her, though, and the two eventually end up falling in love over that spaghetti dinner I mentioned earlier.

The rest of the narrative is a character exercise between Lady, The Tramp, and the other supporting characters. The film gives the characters time to develop, rather than forcefully shuttling them from plot point to plot point, and the relationship is surprisingly well-developed for a canine love story.

The story takes place over a few days span, but there are enough pockets of sweetness to make it work for my Boy Money.

One small touch I liked about Lady and the Tramp's story is how the first act neatly sets up everything we need to know about the rest of the movie. The movie introduces us to all sorts of characters who appear later in the movie, including Tony and his restaurant, the dog catcher, and even the primary antagonist. Not one element in the entire third act feels deus ex machina, and the story’s twists and turns always feel earned instead of arbitrary.

Lady and the Tramp was Disney’s first film shot in 2.55:1 Cinemascope and WOW! does it look gorgeous. The action feels crisp, the characters are given more room to breathe, and the backgrounds are staggeringly beautiful—several shots in the movie look straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Forget the Full Screen; you'll want to soak in every brushstroke and backdrop in this one.

Talking animals are nothing new to Disney flicks, but the characters in Lady are some of the closest to real animals that I’ve seen in an animated movie of this sort. The characters in Lady act more or less like actual dogs, walking, digging, and behaving in a realistic manner, helping sell the audience that these guys could be someone’s pets (it certainly works better than wanting it both ways).

One totally non-PC element I found consistently entertaining throughout the film was its liberal use of ethnic stereotyping. Each of the different dogs has an accent according to its breed; the English bulldog speaks in Cockney, the Chihuahua has a Mexican drawl, and the Borzoi sounds like Boris Badenov. There’s also an Irish police officer, Italian chef, and a German family that serves the Tramp Wiener Schnitzel (jawohl!). Fortunately, the characterization of all of these side players is pretty nice, without the generally tasteless depictions that were around more in the 40’s and 50’s (with one exception that I’m cringing about even now).

This is Pedro. Tito from Oliver & Company's great grandfather? You decide, dear readers. You decide.

Even though “Bella Notte” is the main song remembered from Lady and the Tramp, the movie has a fair few catchy numbers. The opening Christmas carol, “Peace on Earth,” does wonders for setting up the mood of the film, while “The Siamese Cat Song” is another non-PC bit of catchiness (though, let’s face it, it could be a lot worse). My favorite, though, is Peggy Lee’s own “He’s a Tramp;” I’m a huge Peggy Lee fan, and she brings her signature sizzle to the tune that makes me ooze into the carpet.

Lady is a fine film, but if I had to find something to pick on, I’d choose the narrative and pacing. The movie definitely takes its time ambling about and setting up story, and, as such, it seems to drag from time to time. The lack of an overarching goal or conflict also adds to the pokey pace, and the film only really picks up during the middle of the second act.

Still, these are piddly critiques in the face of a great piece of animation. Lady and the Tramp boasts some stunning backgrounds, entertaining characters, appealing songs, and a well-realized (if slightly overrated) love story. In short, it’s what you’d expect from a certified Classic from the Disney Silver Age.

Favorite Songs:

1. “He’s a Tramp”
2. “The Siamese Cat Song”
3. “La La Lu”
   

Favorite Character:

• The Beaver (seriously. I’m a fan of Gopher from the Winnie-the-Pooh series, and that’s basically this guy. The character design, the workman-like nature of him, and even the whistled “S” speech pattern are all the same)

Favorite Scene:

• “Peace on Earth” opener (the camera slowly pans over a picturesque, snowy town, while the viewer is warmly serenaded by a tenor and choir. It’s lovely)
  

The Jar Jar:

• Trusty

How I Watched It

After receiving the Bootleg DVD runaround that I also got from Cinderella, I was finally able to get a copy of the Lady and the Tramp 2-Disc Platinum Edition. The first disc has both the Full Screen and Wide Screen versions of the movie, which is convenient to have, though I’m not sure how often I’ll be using the Full Screen version.

The second disc is chock full of the requisite Platinum goodies, with a hefty Making Of documentary being the main course. There are also a few miscellaneous features, such as some spots from the TV show Disneyland. Though not quite as overstuffed as some Disney DVDs, Lady and the Tramp’s bonus material is more than sufficient for fans of Lady.

Here In This Diary -- Diary of a Mad Black Woman

Our first foray into the realm of Tyler Perry is Diary of a Mad Black Woman, Perry’s breakout hit based on his play of the same name. Though the film has received considerable commercial acclaim, it has not been met so kindly by critics—Roger Ebert gave the movie one-and-a-half stars in his review, noting that it’s a fine character drama with good work from the actors involved, but Madea and all of her scenes brought the drama to a screeching halt. This review was met by several accusations of racism and intolerance; readers claimed that he was a white man who could not possibly identify with all of the elements touched on in the film, and therefore was not qualified to review the film on the basis of not “getting it.” I think these comments miss the point, though: Diary of a Mad Black Woman is a movie with some serious tone-juggling issues. It’s also a ham-fisted, poorly-written, treacley mess, but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Diary starts with Helen MacCarter (Kimberly Ellis) and her husband Charles (Steve Harris) attending some dinner party in his honor. Helen’s internal monologue (the titular "Diary" portion of the movie) tells us that they’ve been married 18 years, and that they look perfect, but that things are different behind closed doors. The next day, Helen comes home to find all of her clothes in boxes and being put into a U-Haul. Charles informs her that he is divorcing her so that he can spend more time with Brenda (Lisa Marcos), his Other Woman who also had two of his kids.

Distraught and alienated from her family, Helen goes to the only person she can think of: her grandma Madea (Tyler Perry), a tough-talkin’, cantankerous lady who loves her granddaughter and doesn’t stand for Charles abandoning her. They go to Charles’ house, where they vandalize Brenda’s clothes and Madea chainsaws Charles’ furniture in half (seriously).

Remember, this is a weighty character drama.

After they get out of jail somehow, Madea has a cookout at her house (to celebrate her house arrest, no doubt), where Helen runs into Orlando, the driver of the U-Haul. Helen throws her drink in his face, but later (three minutes later, to be exact) apologizes, and stares longingly at him while he dances with other cookout attendees.

Meanwhile, we find out that Charles used to run drugs, and one of his former pushers needs legal assistance. Meanwhile meanwhile, Helen gets a job at a restaurant. One night, when she needs a ride home, who should come up to her but Orlando! He offers to take her out to a small jazz café, and the two share a small, tender moment, despite Helen’s constant accusations and mistrust of Orlando’s intentions. Slowly, but surely (as played out by a slow motion Walk On The Beach montage), Helen and Orlando grow closer, and Helen decides to let Charles have all of the property in the divorce.

Uh-oh, they hate each other almost immediately upon meeting. I wonder what's going to happen to them?

At the trial, Charles loses the case, and his former pusher shoots him while being lead to prison, leaving Charles paralyzed. Helen puts Orlando on hold, and leaves to take care of Charles during his paralysis. One night, after Charles mouths-off to her yet again (this guy's douchiness is overplayed to almost comedic effect), she decides to act out her rage on Charles for what he did to her, and, during what is surely the most effed-up scene in the film, she throws him face-down into a bathtub and does all sorts of ugly crap to him. With the help of Madea and doing some soul searching, though, Helen decides to forgive Charles, and take care of him while he recovers. Charles ends up making a full recovery thanks to Helen, but then Helen serves him the divorce papers, then runs back to Orlando, where they decide to get married.

From a one-sentence plot synopsis perspective (“Black woman learns how to be her own person in the wake of an ugly divorce”), Diary of a Mad Black Woman isn’t so bad. On an execution level, however, it’s soppy, pretentious, and as uneven as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

This is what sympathetic protagonists do, right after forgiven their wrongdoers in favor of a better man.

My biggest problem with the movie is not Madea (which surprised me greatly), but Helen. Helen begins the film as, essentially, a spoiled rich girl, living off of her husband’s considerable wealth and without any practical work experience. “You men are all alike!” she shrieks at Orlando as he drives her aimlessly around in their U-Haul, “You’re always thinking of yourselves!” Yeah Orlando! I mean, you were telling her that you needed to drop her off somewhere because you had another job you need to be at in a few hours! Willikers! There’s a point where she visits her mom in a nursing home, and her mother tells her to go out and get a job. “Oh mama,” she smiles sadly, “I can’t do that. I’m not strong like you.” What?!!!??! You can’t get a job because you’re not strong enough?!! Through all of her raging, screaming, pouting, and acting hopeless, there is very little room for sympathy with Helen.

My second-biggest problem (though it truly was a close second) is the completely off-balance tone of this movie. Bouts of heady drama and potential character development are regularly derailed by moments that play out like deleted scenes from The Nutty Professor II: The Klumps, with Perry working double-time as Madea and her waaaaaacky womanizing, reefer-smoking brother Joe. Just when the viewer is grounded into the reality of the characters, Madea shoots a warning shot from her handgun into the ceiling, or pulls a chainsaw from outta bumf@$% nowhere and slices a grand piano in half.

Matter fact, my favorite portion of the movie also suffered from this problem. A secondary side-plot involves Brian (Tyler Perry, in a regular role), Madea’s nephew and representative to Helen during the divorce. Brian’s wife, Debrah (Tamara Taylor) is a junkie, and Brian struggles with how to deal with raising his children in a “proper” home and look after Debrah. It’s a neat little bit, with both actors mercifully absent of stupid dialogue, and whose deus ex machine conflict resolution is exactly 300% less satisfying than it should have been, given the buildup.

The most interesting, satisfying story in this movie has all of five minutes devoted to it.

Speaking of crappy dialogue, this one gets a paragraph by itself. Tyler Perry has gained millions of followers through his stories, but I wonder how many he gained from his awful, insipid, clichéd lines. Things like:

• “She’s not going to get into drugs by singing.”
• “Tell that to my heart.”

• “Dear diary: most days I don’t want to get out of bed, but I do.”

• “He was my fairy tale.”

• “In a way, I thank Charles. If he hadn’t been such a terrible man to me, I wouldn’t have known what a good one feels like.”

• “I can love you passed the pain."

Again, these aren't during any of Madea's wacky comedy bits (it almost would have helped if they were), but during crucial, dramatic scenes, spoken to pretentious, weighty string music. When the romantic tension in your love story can be bested by something like All Dogs Go to Heaven, you may have a problem on your hands.

Characterization in Diary is pretty sketchy throughout. The movie tries way too hard to make Charles unsympathetic; not only does he hit his wife, but he also left her for another woman who had his kids. And he threw her out of the house! But wait! He also used to be a drug dealer! And is just plain mean and nasty throughout the whole film! He’s a bad guy, no doubt about it! Orlando practically wears a T-shirt with the label “Knight in Shining Armor,” and is an boring and underdeveloped as you would expect from a Perfect Man (though Shemar Moore’s performance goes a long way towards actually making him seem charming and relatable).

Moore is the only one in the movie who doesn't play his character as though he were in an After School Special, though even he can't overcome the clunky dialogue.

Diary of a Mad Black Woman could have been worse, but it also could have been a hell of a lot better. It’s a shame that the movie’s intentions of making Helen a sympathetic character fall so flat, otherwise the film might have worked, if only a little. As it stands, the whole project feels like 75% Spoiled Rich Kid Grows Up story, 20% antics with Madea and the Viagra-packing Joe, and 5% actual, decent movie. For my money, eating my way through that much junk to get to so little goodness is a waste of time.

PS - Because misery loves company, here's the link to Jordyn's entry on Message in a Bottle.

It's on Like Donkey Kong -- Tyler Perry Series Kickoff

As she mentioned in her accompanying post, my good friend Jordyn as a Class III Loathe Entirely for Nicholas Sparks. Of course, the guy is friggin’ everywhere these days, with six movies adapted from his novels and a seventh in the works, proving any hack with a sob story can gross a kajillion dollars if the teenagers and housewives like it. I’ve been dying for Jordyn to watch all of them for some time, partially because I want to see the poison pen ass-whupping she would give them, but mostly because I know the after-effect these movies will have on her.

However, I am not entirely without my sense of fairness, and am well aware that I would need to do something equally as awful in order for there to be balance in the universe (it’s either that or I pick up her bar tab forever until one of us croaks, and that’s not going to happen any time soon). As such, I’ve been searching for a film series I find equally abhorrent to watch, in the hopes that my reaction will mirror the one she will likely have.

Of course, this was monumentally easier said than done; there are certainly movies that I don’t like, and the whimpering eight-year-old inside of me doesn’t care for movie gore, but the goal was to find something I’m thematically opposed to. It’s not enough that the movie must be bad—to truly make this equal, I would need to find movies of the same series, a series whose most basic conceptual structure would make the marrow freeze in my bones, and whose very presence in a Wal-Mart DVD section would elicit an emotional response. Things were looking bleak, and I was convinced that Jordyn’s Sparks-athon would be relegated to the Wouldn’t It Be Funny If section of discussions. Until last week.

Last week, we were scouring the various retail stores in Helena for cheap movies (a successful venture that netted me Highlander and The Warriors). I was trying to decide which Austin Powers movie I should consider getting on high-def, when I saw it:

Something clicked, dear readers, and I knew that I had met my match.

Tyler Perry, famed playwright, director, and actor, has long been a thorn in my side. He has attained stratospheric popularity, despite turning out plays and movies that are all largely the same (not to mention misuse their admittedly-talented casts). As a match for Nicholas Sparks movies, this is perfect, and let’s breakdown why:

1) They have both attained fame by, essentially, recycling elements that made them initially successful. For Sparks, it’s love in the wake of ham-fisted tragedy. For Perry, it’s equally ham-fisted African American dramas jarringly interrupted by Martin Laurence’s character from Big Momma’s House.

2) They both seem to have equal antipathy for their characters. Sparks’ movies often involve some spoiled white chick sodden in first-world problems, and who can only achieve fulfillment and satisfaction through her knight in shining armor. Perry’s movies often involve some Minstrel Show-level of black stereotypes, replete with “Oh no she di’in’t,” “Praise Jesus”-talking junkie prostitutes, and they all demonize successful, educated black men.

3) They both have six movies currently available on Netflix.

So yes, dear readers, Jordyn and I will be putting ourselves through the wringer, all in the hopes that you will enjoy the accompanied wailing and gnashing of teeth. Check back to Diversion 2.0 as I cover:

1) Diary of a Mad Black Woman

2) Madea's Family Reunion

3) Meet the Browns

4) Madea Goes to Jail

5) I Can Do Bad All By Myself

6) Madea's Big Happy Family

Jordyn, over at Popped Density, will be covering:

1) Message in a Bottle

2) A Walk to Remember

3) The Notebook

4) Nights in Rodanthe

5) Dear John

6) The Last Song

Check back often, and bring your galoshes—it’s gonna be a s@$# storm.

PS - Here is the best way to describe Tyler Perry, as interpreted by The Boondocks.

A Book on Tape -- Wizard People, Dear Reader

Every once in a while, fanbase and popularity permitting, a film will take on a life outside of its original creator’s intent. Whether it’s stoners who made the Reese’s connection of getting The Wizard of Oz in their Pink Floyd and Pink Floyd in their The Wizard of Oz, or the inexplicable crowd that will dress in drag and throw crap at the screen of that one Tim Curry movie from the 80’s 70’s (thanks Jordyn!), fans will sometimes take an already-existing movie and add to it, making, in essence, an entirely different product. One of my favorite entries in this admittedly-specific category of films is Wizard People, Dear Reader.

Wizard People is a fan-dub of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, written and performed by comic book artist Brad Neely (Neely was also responsible for that awesome George Washington video from a couple years ago). Rather than a straight Mystery Science Theater 3000-style lampooning of the film, Neely instead narrates the movie as an audiobook, adding his own name fudgings and plot alterations while still telling a (mostly) coherent story.

"But lo-ho-ho, dear readers! It is a cloak. A cloak with a cloaking device!"

The additions are pretty sophomoric, to be sure. Name changes range from mostly similar (Hagrid becomes “Hagar The Horrible”) to bat-guano loco (Madam Hooch becomes “Professor Catface Meowmers”). Character changes are equally ridiculous; Harry is a nigh-omnipotent wizard, Hermione (“The Wretched Harmony”) is constantly referred to as being hideous, and Ron (referred to as “Ronnie the Bear,” or sometimes just “The Effin’ Bear”) has 20 brothers and 12 sisters, all of whom are either Gryffindor students, alumni, or faculty members

The movie has a quirky, anarchic sense of humor that extends beyond the typical “It’s funny because it’s different” laughs. Minor characters undergo several name changes within the span of a single scene; Uncle Vernon has at least twelve swine-related names (Uncle Piggums, Uncle Gigglesnort, etc), and Marcus Flint of the Slytherin Quidditch team has a few as well that reflect on his excellent dentistry (Joey Lumbermouth, Woodpile, etc). Neely also gives his narrator some excellent similes (“Jeepers! Ed Vanders rushes into Harry’s view, like a scarecrow’s carcass.”), and characters often use hilariously toothless interjections along with the frequent swears (“Willikers!” “Crumbs and carrots!”).

"'And look! It's a bat! Sweet mustache! Willikers!'"

Elements of the plot are frequently changed—Professor Snape (Professor Snake) is made a woman, and Voldermort (Val-Mart) is made Harry’s father (“The man that killed your mama is your dada”). There are also places where, during uneventful scenes, the narration breaks from describing the movie and begins talking about a daydream being had by Harry (during his retrieval of the flying key, Neely goes off about how Harry imagines himself as a Spanish conquistador, discovering America and integrating himself with the natives).

Then there’s Neely’s performance. After secondhand-listening to way too many dull audiobooks, I only wish I could have one recorded like this. Far from simply “reading” what’s going on, Neely acts out the dialogue, and frequently responds to what’s happening onscreen (his reaction to when Quirrel removes his turban is especially epic). The voice he uses is like a mixture of Ross Perot and Peewee Herman, and it only adds to the humor of Wizard People.

"'The gig is up! There were kids! Kids, in the adult books!'"

It’s not perfect, though. It’s a bit of a slow starter, and the movie only really starts to ramp up when Hagrid comes to get Harry from the Dursley’s. That said, there are also a few places during the second half (almost the entire part dealing with the Mirror of Erised, for instance) that crawl by as well. Taken as a whole, though, the small, less noteworthy sections are well worth eating through in order to get to the good stuff.

Of course, you have to actually gather the materials needed to watch Wizard People, which can be a bit tricky. You need a copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, and you’ll also need to download the audio; Wizard People was recorded as a two-parter, and you’ll need both parts to get the whole movie. From there, you need to watch Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone with the sound off and play the two Wizard People audio files one after another (this can be done by playing from your iPod or burning it to a CD).

The whole process can be a bit of work, but the experience is a rewarding one. Whether you’ve read all the books multiple times or simply thought the first movie was pretty neat, Wizard People, Dear Reader is an absolute treat for Potter fans.

Our Feature Presentation (10/50) -- The Princess and the Frog (2009)

Back in 2003, Disney was facing a sudden and very rude awakening: Dreamworks and Pixar were creating CG movies that were grossing incredible sums of money, while its own crop of films were ranging anywhere from mildly successful (The Emperor’s New Groove) to utterly disastrous (Treasure Planet). Disney’s CEO Michael Eisner then famously declared that Disney would be leaving the realm of 2D hand-drawn animation forever, and instead be focusing on creating CG animated films to compete with the likes of Woody and Shrek (Eisner, for those keeping score at home, also suggested that Disney would not benefit in any way, shape or form, from acquiring Pixar; in short, he was an addle-brained git). Fortunately, Eisner was soon ousted from the house that Walt built in a rather public coup by Roy E. Disney (Walt’s nephew), and John Lasseter of Pixar was made Senor Big-Shot of Feature Animation.

Lasseter’s first act, in addition to tweaking the in-development Meet the Robinsons and Bolt, was get back to what Disney was good at: fairy tales. He commissioned Ron Clements and John Musker (co-directors of The Little Mermaid, Aladdin, and Hercules) to come up with a treatment of “The Frog Princess,” and gave them the option to make it in either CG or hand-drawn animation. They chose hand-drawn, and in the winter of 2009, the public received The Princess and the Frog.

I remember waiting for this movie to come out, mostly because the pedigree of talent (great directors, all of Disney’s best animators, an animation medium I love, etc.) made it seem like this movie was going to be the second coming of Christ, and the film’s initial trailer certainly didn’t do anything to snap me out of that mindset. I never got to see the film in theaters, though, because I was unavailable on the one night my friends all went to see it, and I didn’t manage to catch it during the Christmas break. My initial viewing came from Redbox, and the decision that yes, doggonit, I was finally going to see this movie. The Princess and the Frog is not the best that Disney has to offer, but it certainly is an excellent return to form after several years in the wilderness.

From the very first teaser footage of this film, I was incredibly jacked about it.

The Princess and the Frog begins in 1910’s New Orleans, with a young Tiana (Elizabeth M. Dampier) being read to by her mother, Eudora (Oprah Winfrey). The story is “The Frog Prince,” and Eudora reads while simultaneously sewing a dress for Tiana’s best friend Charlotte LaBouff (Breanna Brooks). Once the dress is finished, Tiana and her mother leave the fabulously wealthy LaBouff estate and journey home to their more modest home, where Tiana cooks gumbo for her father (Terrance Howard) and the whole neighborhood. Tiana’s father tells her that she needs to work hard in order to achieve her dream of having a restaurant, saying that “[wishing stars] can only take you part of the way.”

Flash forward several years, where Tiana is working several jobs to save up money for her restaurant; her daddy’s passed away, but her dream is as strong as ever. Charlotte tells Tiana that Prince Naveen of Maldonia (a far-off country that is never quite topographically defined) is visiting New Orleans, and that she wants him to fall in love with her at a party she is throwing that night. Tiana whips up a special batch of beignets for enticing the prince (“The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”), but, later at the party, a mishap with a dog makes a mess of Tiana’s clothes.

While changing into one of Charlotte’s spare dresses, Tiana spots a frog sitting on the balcony with her. Much to her surprise, the frog speaks, revealing that he is Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos) and that he was transformed into his more Kermit-esque appearance by Dr. Facilier (Keith David, who positively oozes into the role), a voodoo master. Thinking her to be a princess, Naveen begs Tiana to kiss him and transform him back into a human. Reluctantly, Tiana agrees. Unfortunately, this only causes Tiana to become a frog as well, and since frogs are not especially welcome at a gala event like this one, Tiana and Naveen are forced to make a break for it and find a way to become human again.

Tiana and Naveen's journey is filled with songs, comic side-characters, and self-discovery, just the way mama used to make it.

Just about everything in this movie has an old-but-new approach to it (which makes for a great companion piece to Tangled’s new-but-old approach). The comic timing, character archetypes, and general attitude of the movie feels straight out of the Disney Renaissance; in terms of looks and tone, it feels like a spiritual sequel to Aladdin, or perhaps Hercules.

However, the movie also seems determined to reinvent itself as something new: the songs are much more Randy Newman-sounding than Alan Menkin-y, the story adds in several wrinkles that would not necessarily have been at home during the twilight years of the first Bush administration (Tiana’s focus on working hard and earning things for herself being the largest one), and the setting feels more differentiated from other Disney films (even other pictures set in the United States like The Rescuers or Oliver & Company never felt this distinctly romantic about their swamps/New York/etc.).

I have no idea what sort of fantastic jiggery-pokery was used to create the backgrounds in this picture, but brother it works.

This adds up to a bit of a mixed bag. On one hand, I really like the film’s spirit of rekindling the spirit of the Disney’s 90’s heyday, and appreciate the small things it does to differentiate itself from the current crop of animated films (Roger Ebert sums it up better than I ever can in his 2009 review: “This is what classic animation once was like! No 3-D! No glasses! No extra ticket charge! No frantic frenzies of meaningless action! And . . . good gravy! A story! Characters! A plot! It's set in a particular time and place!”). However, for my money, there’s always some slight disconnect between the Renaissance-style visuals and the newer, more up-to-date sensibilities; it’s as if the movie never goes far enough to capture the 90’s nostalgia, and settles into a sort of uneven compromise.

My favorite scenes in The Princess and the Frog are the ones that eschew convention entirely and cut their own path. Early in the movie, during a song where Tiana sings about her future restaurant (“Almost There,” the best song in the movie), the animation style shifts to a more flat, art deco look; the stylization is eye-catching, and differentiates itself from the regular (though still quite pretty) animation style of the film. During the ending portion of the movie, Dr. Facilier entices Tiana with a vision of owning the restaurant, showing her images of a swanky, ballroom setting and herself in nice clothes, giving the whole scene a Last Temptation of Christ feel to it.

Princess retreads old ground just fine, but its best moments are when it's at its most inventive.

The best thing the movie has going for it is the animation. As I mentioned earlier, this movie had the cream of Disney animator crop: Mark Henn, Andreas Deja, Eric Goldberg, and many others responsible for some of Disney’s most iconic characters were all gathered under one roof to kick some ass, and boy did they deliver. Characters are expressive and full of human emotion, and the backgrounds draw the viewer into the world like few I’ve ever seen.

Sonically, The Princess and the Frog is not one of my favorites, and the place where it loses the most ground as a Return To Classic exercise. Princess’s songs and score were written by Randy Newman, whom you may know as, among other things, the chief musical dude from lots of early Pixar movies. Newman has his fans, but I don’t count myself as one; while he does have a folksy appeal, his material lacks the showmanship and flair of Alan Menkin’s work from the 90’s (which the animation so desperately tries to imitate). I will acquiesce, though, that they’re perfectly fine if you enjoy Newman’s work, and don’t necessarily detract from my enjoyment of the film.

With a few exceptions, the songs in Princess just don't quite do it for me.

On the voice work front, however, Princess is much stronger. Anika Noni Rose is charming and beautiful as Tiana, and Bruno Campos’ Naveen has an absolutely gutbusting timing about him through the entire film. Gunning for the spot of top villain is Keith David, who has done stellar work in other Disney roles, and completely nails Dr. Facilier; equal parts suave and dangerous, Facilier belongs up there with some of the Disney greats. The supporting characters alternate between being fitfully charming (Mama Odie, Louis) and pants-on-head aggravating (Ray, Charlotte).

The Princess and the Frog is not the dramatic, “The Boys Are Back in Town”-style comeback that I expected, but it’s still quite a worthy film. Many of my quibbles amount to personal bias, and Princess seems on track to be a slow burn Disney classic, revealing its charms and strengths through multiple viewings, which I will take hands-down over a seen-it-once-seen-it-a-million-times movie like Robin Hood. It’s not the return to form many of us hoped for, but it’s a nice reminder that somewhere in the Disney Corporation, they finally know what they’re doing again.

Top Three Songs:

1. “Almost There”
2. “Never Knew I Needed”
3. “Friends on the Other Side”

Favorite Scene:

• Tiana and Dr. Facilier’s Last Temptation of Christ moment.

Favorite Character:

• Naveen (Facilier is a sweet villain, but Naveen’s quips and general affability made him a top pick for me)

The Jar Jar:

• Ray (even though he somewhat redeems himself at the end, I still get cheesed with his Funny Antics throughout the movie, which is what the Jar Jar does)

How I Watched It

The Princess and the Frog doesn’t look quite as eye-bleedingly gorgeous on Blu-ray as Beauty and the Beast, but it’s still a total feast for the eyes. The backgrounds I mentioned above suck the viewer in like some sort of Technicolor vortex, and the colors pop something fierce in hi-def.

Disney has been notoriously light on bonus features for its current-release movies (Bolt had next to nothing on it), but Princess scrapes together a surprisingly decent collection of supplemental material (though it’s nowhere near as comprehensive as the two-disc Atlantis release). Included on the Blu-ray is a general making-of doc that lightly covers the main bases (history going into the project, animators who worked on it, songs, etc.), which is pretty entertaining and reasonably brief. There are also several nitty-gritty features, like pencil tests, art galleries, and small featurettes on different aspects of the movie, like the history of the Disney princess. While not super deep, there’s enough bonus material on the Princess Blu-ray to satisfy the casual fan.

Next up: Lady and the Tramp

Testermix - Winter '10

It's that time again! Here's another list of songs that I'm compiled during the twilight months of 2010 (hence the title), painstakingly analyzed, or at least written about between episodes of GameInformer.com's Replay. Enjoy!

1) The Flock of Seagulls - I Ran (So Far Away)

A poster child for song peer pressure, "I Ran" was brought to my attention for three reasons:

a) It was featured in a commercial for an 80’s compilation CD that you would get by subscribing to Entertainment Weekly. This commercial ran CONSTANTLY during the Toonami block of Cartoon Network, so I was able to get a passing familiarity with the title of the song.

b) A few years later, it was featured in a sweet ad for Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, which helped establish a much better impression than "it exists"

c) Back in July, I played it on Guitar Hero Encore: Rocks the 80's.

It's been lolling around in my head ever since, and I finally took the plunge and got it on iTunes. No regrets.

2) Ke$ha - We R Who We R

As I mentioned in several entries, I likes me some Ke$ha. As Wikipedia informs us, “We R Who We R” debuted at back in October at number 1, which means that I would have, if nothing else, seen it on iTunes under the Top Downloads list. I never fully tried out the song, though, until later that month when my friend Jordyn and I accidentally took a trip to Great Falls (it’s a rich tapestry). In the car, I was able to take advantage of the Amazon MP3 Store from my phone, and, what with boredom setting in, decided to give the song a whirl. The rest is history.

Musically, it’s more Ke$ha, which can hardly be a bad thing. “We R” maintains Ke$ha’s penchant for sweet synth and hilarious, tongue-in-cheek song writing. That the song was written in response to an actual tragedy but doesn’t come off preachy or high and mighty (unlike some other songs) makes it that much more of an accomplishment.

3) Hit The Lights - Drop the Girl

As a pop punk junkie, I try to stay up on newer, scene-breaking bands, so Hit The Lights has been on my list for a while now (thanks in large part to the Madden ’07 soundtrack). Unfortunately, Hit The Lights has been mostly promise with only some execution, never quite rising to the level with the Fall Out Boys and Hey Mondays of the power pop world; nasally vocals and same-sounding songs aside, they never have had the inventiveness to back up their admittedly-high energy.

I tried out their then-new album Skip School, Start Fights back in 2008 (and if that title doesn’t give you an idea of the age group of their fanbase, I don’t know what will), and it underwhelmed me with so-so songs and a complete lack of originality (not to mention severely disappointed me by treating one of my favorite 80’s songs to a flaccid cover). However, one song managed to jump out at me and actually stay in my head (something no Hit The Lights song had done to date). Granted, it doesn’t vary much from the standard HTL book of tricks (big hooks and “wo-oah”s during the chorus), but it just does it better than most of the other songs, and that deserves a spot on the mix.

4) The Lonely Island feat. Akon - I Just Had Sex

Occasionally, I get input of songs to think about including on my mixes. One suggestion for this go around was “I’m On A Boat,” that Grammy-nominated­ dedication to contemplating your Naval (ba dump tish). I played around with the song a bit, and it very nearly made the list, but “Boat” is a bit more March 2009 (when my friends and I played the HELL out of Incredibad) than Winter ’10.

Lo and behold, that very same weekend, The Lonely Island debuted their new Digital Short and lead single for their upcoming album. And just like its predecessor, it had a guest spot from major hip-hop star, featured crude and sometimes juvenile lyrics, and was CATCHY AS S#%@. The thing that constantly impresses me about The Lonely Island is both how legit their production style is (insert different words, and this becomes a top-shelf Akon single) and how funny their lyrics are, with one never overshadowing the other. The new album can’t come soon enough.

5) Every Avenue - Where Were You

Every Avenue is another pop-punk band that I considered getting into, but their sound often feels too slick and lacking in energy (All Time Low has experienced something similar). That does not mean, however, that they lack any sort of Andrew-redeeming material. On the contrary, even the most “eh” of bands can occasionally turn up something noteworthy.

“Where Were You” isn’t some revolution in power-pop (if it was, I would have slapped it on a mix much sooner), but it is damn catchy. I’m not sure if I’d want to listen to an entire album of this sort of 30-weight motor oil slickness, but a little lube every now and then isn’t so bad.

6) Steve Miller Band - Fly Like an Eagle

Only six tracks in, and we’ve already stumbled on our first It Came From Rock Band song. Of course, I’ve been familiar with this song for a while now (aside from “The Joker,” it’s the de facto Steve Miller Band song), but I had to hear it in conjunction with the sound of clicking plastic instruments in order to truly appreciate it (plus, playing the keyboard part helped me hear how well it complements the rest of the song; I didn’t even know it had a keyboard part prior to playing it).

7) Cartel – Honestly

This may well be the Generic Pop-Punk edition of Testermix, because here’s another track from an Eh Overall band (and by the way, Eh Overall would be a pretty good name for a group like this). Easy melodies (this time on the verse for once!) and a good sense of energy make this one a keeper. Heck, I may even check out their new album because of it (maybe).

8) Forever the Sickest Kids - Whoa Oh! (Me Vs. Everyone)

Here we go again. And trust me, if you want a great example of Bands With Only One Truly Stellar Song, Forever the Sickest Kids is a pretty good one (them and The Rembrandts. Yeesh). I originally heard this song on our local hits station and decided, you know, I think I’ll give this band a try by impulse-buying their CD. After all, there’s got to be like nine other at least pretty good songs on the album, right? Right? Oh boy.

Anyways, you know the drill by this point in the mix. Good hooks (extra points for “wo-oah”s) and energetic delivery will make an okay band sound decent, and FTSK really does create a genuinely good slice of power pop with this one. That said, I’m not sure if I’ll venture into their newer stuff any time soon.

9) Story of the Year - Until the Day I Die

Out of all of the songs in “Winter ’10,” this is the one that I’m most familiar with, having been introduced to Story of the Year in late 2003 with their debut album Page Avenue (still their best one, IMHO, because they sound their hungriest on it). Of all of their singles, this one has always seemed the most effortless, with a huge melody and unbound energy in tow. While their other songs have sounded like they’re trying too hard to be catchy, “Until the Day I Die” has always soared the highest and rocked the hardest. The likelihood of Story reverting back to a Page Avenue style of sound is rather slim (bands grow up and become new bands, unless they’re AC/DC), but I still find myself sampling their new material whenever I get rumbling of another album, if only to hope that they find their energy again.

10) Paul McCartney - Band on the Run

This song was a bit of a slow burn for me, but I eventually found my way back to it. In truth, I had forgotten about it being a three-part track, with the first two minutes or so sounding much more Steve Miller than the bouncy, happy song it turns into later (“Live and Let Die” has a stylistic transition that’s similarly jarring). Still, I’ve grown to like the opening build, and, after the 2:07, it’s all musical gravy from there.

11) Ludacris - Get Back

This is the only single I can think of from Ludacris’ 2005 album Red Light District, and it was reasonably popular at the time, but you may be more familiar with it as the song that plays during the ending credits of Tropic Thunder. Like many things Ludacris, it’s clever, silly, and has a good beat to it. What’s not to like?

12) Panic! At the Disco - The Only Difference

I’ve mercifully abridged the song title, because Panic! At the Disco drips with the kind of “hip” pretentiousness that turns me off to self-aware movies, music, and books (like most of what Ellen Paige had to say in Juno, and most indie music, period). That said, “The Only Difference” is a pretty infectious piece of pop, with a driving melody, and great gushers of energy peppered liberally throughout the song. The lyrics are typical Panic! fair, but I find ‘em pretty easy to tune out, which is all the better to enjoy this nice slice of Decaydance sweetness.

13) Blue Oyster Cult – Godzilla

This one goes all the way back to the original Guitar Hero for me; I have rather vivid memories of playing this song during my freshman year of college, feet propped up on the mini-fridge and doing my best to nail the solo on Medium. Times have changed, but Blue Oyster Cult seems to hold up pretty well, and their ode to Godzooky’s uncle is one of my favorites from them. Led by a big, stomp-y sort of riff, “Godzilla” makes almost no sense from a songwriting perspective (at least, it never satisfactorily answers the question of why the song is), but is pretty damn fun nonetheless.

14) Elton John - Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting

For those who grew up in the 90’s (and were naïve to any form of music older than 1989), Elton John was famous for two reasons: co-writing The Lion King’s music with Tim Rice, and writing that one “Candle in the Wind” song, which received a resurgence when Princess Diana passed away in 1997. Given that, it’s safe to say that I was pretty ignorant of Elton John’s actual fame-acquiring career during my formative years. Rock Band 3 was able to show me what I missed, though, and I’m all the better for it.

“Saturday Night” is the anti-Elton John song for me. Rather than a slow, pretty love song, it’s loud, brash, and packing a memorable, uber-distorted guitar riff. It legitimately rocks, and it’s a pretty sweet song for the times when, damn it, you just wanna throw all inhibitions out the window and take the town by storm. “Don’t give us none of your aggravation,” the chorus shouts, “we’ve had it with your discipline.” Over 30 years later, the message rings as loud, brash, and fun as ever.

15) Fall Out Boy - Don't You Know Who I Think I Am?

I’ve been a fan of Fall Out Boy ever since I accidentally ran across them on some sampler I got from the 2004 Warped Tour, and their third major studio album, Infinity on High, was one of the bigger releases during my second semester of college. It had a great collection of tracks, from the dance-y “This Ain’t A Scene” to the just-go-with-it “Thanks for the Memories,” but the CD’s sleeper hit was this baby. Hooky, melodic, and packing some serious energy (Andy Hurley is one of the most underrated drummers in the music industry, and a great example of how a great drummer can push a good band into excellence), “Don’t You Know” is one of those songs I like to play when I feel like car dancing.

16) The Police - Message in a Bottle

Like Elton John, my relationship to The Police has been fraught with misunderstandings and flat-out “Huh?” moments. The Police has long been known by me for their song “Every Breath You Take,” that wonderful stalker anthem that has been humorously included on many-a romantic mixtape since its release in the 80’s. My mom bought their greatest hits when I was 13, though, and I was gradually able to discover some of their better material (including one song that many will remember was reimagined in Moulin Rouge).

“Message” is probably my favorite, though. The driving melody, active drum part, and ending chorus of “Sending out an S.O.S.” has been the stuff that my pop dreams are made of for the better part of a decade, and its inclusion on Guitar Hero II could only make my infatuation grow.

17) Quietdrive – Jessica

Quietdrive was brought to my attention through a free sampler distributed by Hot Topic in the early parts of 2007, and included in the mix was a song from a certain small, Minneapolis band. I liked what I heard, so I picked up their album and promptly fell in middle school crush with them, and, while I haven’t dug their recent material as much as their first CD, they’ve been a fairly reliable source a power-pop goodness over the years. This entry from their Open Your Eyes EP is basic, lead single material, but that doesn’t mean I’m not entitled to like it. Heck, it’s my list, so I’ll do it anyway!

18) Bloc Party – Banquet

One of my favorite video game franchises has been the SSX series of snowboarding games. SSX 3 made my list, so I was incredibly stoked for its 2005 follow-up, SSX On Tour. Unfortunately, the game eschewed many of the design decisions that I loved in 3, and replaced its quirky, electronic vibe with Brit rock sensibilities and Napoleon Dynamite-style art directions. The gameplay was good, but most of the game was better on paper than it was in practice. From On Tour, though, came a stellar, interesting soundtrack, including this gem from London-based Bloc Party. I’ll be honest: I really don’t care what is said in this song, not for much of the verse structure. I like this song because of the awesome guitar line—it was so in 2005, and it’s so well into 2011.

19) Kanye West feat. Rihanna - All of the Lights

Kanye West’s The College Dropout is one of my favorite albums, so I always hype myself up for a new ‘Ye release (I find that ignoring his real life jackassery and enjoying his music in a vacuum makes for a much better listening experience overall). I’m not sure if he’ll ever make an album like that again, however; it was a single-producer album, made in a time before his head had swollen to Universal globe proportions. All the same, I enjoyed his newest album, My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy (whose songs, like its name, suffer from being overlong), and “All of the Lights” contains some of West’s most exciting production to date, particularly the percussion.

20) Nicki Minaj feat. will.i.am - Check it Out

The second-to-last spot is where I like to hide my fly-by-night, guilty pleasure tracks, and this Mix is no different. will.i.am’s bite-tastic sampling of a certain song from The Buggles is as catchy as it is shallow, and there’s something that grabs me about Minaj’s line, “Haters, you can kill yourself.” Of course, I think it’s a bit rich for i.am to declare during the chorus, “I can’t believe it / This beat is bangin,’” (he made the beat; bit self-congratulatory for my taste), but this is a song where I don’t mind to swallowing any pockets of pop rap-isms and just going with it.

21) Acceptance - Take Cover

A small flash in the music industry pan, Acceptance broke up shortly after I found out about them, but their album-opening “Take Cover” still lives on in my heart. I like their blend of piano and power pop, and the driving melody makes for an exciting, rewarding listen.