You were so awesome. You were like Rin Tin Tin -- The Adventures of Tintin

Longtime readers of Diversion 2.0 (I feel like there must be at least three of you at this point) know my affinity for adventure media—films, video games, whatever; if it reminds me of a Carl Barks Uncle Scrooge comic book, chances are I’m going to like it an awful lot. It’s with this mindset that I bring up The Adventures of Tintin, a motion-capture film version of Belgian artist Hergé’s famous newspaper comic strips, which, to my understanding, are to European audiences what Uncle Scrooge is to me. Produced by Peter Jackson and helmed by Stephen Spielberg (a man who knows a thing or three about putting together an adventure film), Tintin is swashbuckling and satisfying popcorn cinema, and if it’s not as good as Raiders of the Lost Ark, it’s at least as fun as Romancing the Stone.

The Adventures of Tintin is based on three volumes of Hergé’s work, and follows Tintin (Jaime Bell), a newspaper reporter with a penchant for finding hidden treasure, as he attempts to discover the secrets of a model ship with the figurehead of a unicorn. Along the way, he meets Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), a boozy, blustery seaman with at least three catchphrases to his name (“Blustering barnacles!”), and the slinky, sinister Mr. Sakharine (Daniel Craig). Tintin and Haddock’s travels take them from France, to Morocco, to the middle of the Mediterranean Sea, though, disappointingly, there’s not a single sequence involving an old parchment map or a traveling red line.

Tintin and Haddock manage to get both into and out of several scrapes along the course of the film.
Motion capture animation, made popular by films like The Polar Express and Disney’s A Christmas Carol, has received a healthy amount of flak from audiences, mostly for the off-putting, Uncanny Valley appearances of its characters. I was concerned that I would spend most of Tintin distracted by its animation style, but after I got over the initial shock of the characters’ realistic proportions and cartoon faces, I was amazed by how good the film looked, and how fluid the action was. Far from an unnecessary stylistic flourish, Tintin’s animation gives way to fantastic, larger-than-life stunts and setpieces, like a harrowing motorcycle chase through a Moroccan city in pursuit of a falcon, or a kinetic, rain-swept duel between two enormous ships.

And how wonderful the set pieces are! Far from simply shooting them and cutting together the footage, Spielberg takes the freedom brought by animation and uses it to swoop in and out of the background, following characters as they leap, slide and run through the environment, all without a single break in the action. If Tintin succeeds on any level (and it does on numerous ones, I should think), it’s in the movie’s heedless, joyous celebration of movement and spectacle.

During many of Tintin's setpieces, the camera darts in and out of the action, which I rather enjoyed.
Tintin’s acting performances are solid throughout. I’m unfamiliar with Jaime Bell’s work, but I enjoyed his portrayal of the titular character, doing his best to power through the character’s inherent hollow writing. Craig is wonderful as the menacing Sakharine, to the point that I didn’t even know it was Craig until I watched the credits. The real show-stopper, though, is Serkis, who puts his motion capture experience from Lord of the Rings, King Kong, and Rise of the Planet of the Apes to good use, imbuing Captain Haddock with boisterous energy and personality, not to mention a ruddy good Scottish brogue. Helping round out Tintin’s audio package is a rousing score from composer John Williams, who uses his old-fashioned matinee sensibilities to great effect, while sprinkling in Middle Eastern motifs and playful jazz-era sounds reminiscent of his work in Catch Me If You Can.

For all its does right, though, Tintin doesn’t escape without a few blemishes. As I mentioned earlier, Tintin as a character has few distinguishing qualities, and while I get that he’s meant to be an audience cypher, he still feels quite dull onscreen. As a result, many of the character development scenes fall flat, especially early in the movie before the introduction of Captain Haddock. Also, while I was able to push past Tintin’s use of motion capture, I realize that some might still be weirded out by overall aesthetic of the characters, though I will say that Tintin looks miles ahead of other motion capture films I’ve seen.

Many characters sport bulbous noses and other exaggerated facial features, which clash a bit with their smooth, normal-looking movements.
Then there’s the matter of Captain Haddock, a character whose primary trait, apart from being a sea captain and a Scot, is his rampant alcoholism. Usually, it’s played to comic relief, such as when Tintin elaborately steals a key from a quarter of sleeping sailors, only to find out the key unlocks the ship’s liquor cabinet; or when Haddock’s foul, fermented breath is able to keep an airplane running midflight. At other times, Tintin gives Haddock grief about his constant drinking, in a darker, Rather Serious manner, making Haddock’s later scenes of comic drinking all the more surreal. Tintin’s treatment of Haddock’s alcoholism, ironically, is like that of a drunkard, weaving back and forth between hilarity and pathos. W.C. Fields, this film ain’t.

Still, for the couple knocks against it I have, I still enjoyed the heck out of Tintin. Even without having read a Tintin comic book, the movie still drove home a sense of adventure and excitement like few other films from recent years. The movie ends with the promise of a sequel, and I’ll be hotly anticipating Tintin’s further adventures.

Blu-Balled: I've Got a Secret -- National Treasure: Book of Secrets

If there’s one type of fiction I have total, unabashed affection for, it’s the Treasure Hunting story (see my Uncharted entry for further details). Whether it’s their exotic locales, emphasis on problem solving, or healthy blend of adventure and humor, Treasure Hunting stories are some of my favorite slices of cinematic escapism. Not every Treasure Hunting movie is created equal, however, and not every film can be Romancing the Stone. It is with mixed feelings, then, that I bring up National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Not because I don’t like it, but because it’s so bad, and I still like it.

National Treasure: Book of Secrets picks up shortly after the first movie ends, with Benjamin Franklin Gates (Nicholas Cage) and his father, Patrick Henry Gates (Jon Voight), giving a presentation on their ancestor, Thomas Jefferson Gates (this movie is chock full of naming I See What You Did There’s). An attendant revealing himself to be Mitch Wilkinson (Ed Harris) stands up and accuses Thomas Gates of being the mastermind behind the Lincoln assassination. Worse, he has proof: a missing page of the John Wilkes Booth’s diary, with Thomas Gates’ name among the conspirators.

Ben and Patrick know the truth, though: that Thomas Gates was a hero, who died trying to prevent the Confederacy from finding a massive treasure that would have helped turn the tide of the Civil War. In order to restore the Gates family’s good name, Ben and Patrick need to find the treasure and prove Thomas’ innocence.

For a paper-thin excuse to go out and find more treasure, it's not bad.

This, of course, requires getting the gang from the first movie back together: Riley (Justin Bartha), Ben’s techno-savvy protégé, who all but wears a T-shirt with the words “COMIC RELIEF” written on it; Agent Sadusky (Harvey Keitel), an FBI member who assists Ben in lieu of pursuing him this time; and Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger), Ben’s old beau, who left him for his Nicholas Cage-level of social ineptitude. Joining the cast is Ben’s mother Emily (Helen Mirren), an expert in ancient languages (par for the course in stories like this).

A large part of the franchise’s appeal is how it integrates Dan Brown-esque conspiracy plots with American history. The first film was all about Revolutionary history, with Gates and co. traipsing about the East Coast to places like the Liberty Bell. Book of Secrets is trenched firmly in a Civil War setting, with the Lincoln assassination used as the plot’s main narrative thrust. While we don’t find out that Gettysburg is secretly the site of the Fountain of Youth (I can imagine the dialogue for that one: “The Conquistadors had it all wrong! It wasn’t Florida, it was Pennsylvania!”), Book of Secrets still exhibits Treasure's brand of over-the-topness, and the film is better for it.

"No, we're not looking for a 'crystal skull'."

I have fun with the National Treasure movies, but it would be remiss to think of them as anything revolutionary. Though fun and worthwhile, there are definitely aspects of Book of Secrets that could stand improvement.

Take, for example, the clues leading to the treasure. Treasure Hunting story formula dictates that the clues involve lateral thinking, but it’s also an unofficial rule that they be cryptic and mystical-sounding as well. Book of Secrets really likes the cryptic and mystical-sounding aspect, because many of the clues sound like the writers were playing Madlibs when they came up with them (“Okay, I need a noun!” “How about ‘twin’?” “Hey, that’s a good one! Now I need aaaan adjective.” “Um, okay, how aboouuuut, uh, ‘resolute’?” “Yes! Perfect! Alright, let’s go to lunch.”). One of the clues states, “The entrance shall only be revealed under a cloudless rain. Surrender your hand to the heart of the warrior.” Well and good, but the clue in question came from a letter written by Queen Victoria. Huh??? This isn’t some ancient language that was translated into an archaic form of English, it’s the bloody Queen. Surely she could have said something like, “Third rock from the left, chaps.”

I dunno what it says, but I bet it reads like a fortune cookie.

Speaking of the writing, the plot could have been massaged a bit before the movie went into production. For example, Book of Secrets ultimately deals with the search for Cibola, a lost city of gold (I was unaware that there was more than one). Fine, cool, chasing after a well-worn, if reliable, MacGuffin; hell, I can think of at least three different projects off the top of my head where people go looking for El Dorado in some form or another. My pause comes from the revelation that (SPOILER ALERT) Cibola is located in the Black Hills of South Dakota, specifically inside of Mount Rushmore. “They carved Mount Rushmore to erase the map's landmarks!” cries one character. “Mount Rushmore was a cover-up,” breathes another, heavily. What??? Certainly there are more practical ways to make a mountain look like something else.

There are also the usual slew of logistical problems that pop up in escapist entertainment like this. Things like the apparent lack of police during a heated car chase between Wilkinson and Gates in Paris. Or an apparent lack of security cameras in either the Oval Office or Buckingham Palace. Or the apparent ease in which Ben and co. can tie up an entire city’s hotel chains. The list goes on.

I'm imagining a sequel where we discover that the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor in retaliation for destroying the map to Shangri-La.

What makes these complaints more or less irrelevant, though, is the fun and craftsmanship brought to the rest of the table. Book of Secrets is better-cast than it has any right to be, with excellent performances from Cage, Voight, Kruger, Mirren, Keitel, and Harris, all of whom appear to be having a ball while making this film. The movie strikes a good balance between action and humor without straying too far into either territory, and Bartha’s well-timed performance as Riley has me in stitches every time I watch it. Sets, stunts, the whole nine is well-executed to the very last. Even if the movie doesn’t have a brain in its empty, conspiracy-laden head, it still knows how to have a good time.

This is ultimately what National Treasure: Book of Secrets is: a good time. A live-action, two-hour episode of “DuckTales,” sans Uncle Scrooge, plus US history and Dr. Stanley Goodspeed. A movie for playing in the background while you and your friends play Apples to Apples, occasionally paying attention to it and making an off-hand comment about it. Incidentally, this is why I bought it, and as such, I am satisfied with my purchase. Though not the best of its kind, National Treasure: Book of Secrets is still a Treasure Hunting story, and I still love it, Rushmore-shaped warts and all.

Blu-ray Breakdown:

Where purchased: Debo’s Pawn on Mendenhall in Bozeman

How much: $8

Favorite character: Riley

Favorite scene: Ben and Abigail break into the Queen’s study, while Riley acts as in-the-ear hacker guy

Rating: ***/****

Duck Tales! Woo-ooo! – Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

Summer is well under way, and so is Blockbuster Movie season. We've had a fine crop this year, with "Iron Man 2" kicking off in May, "Prince of Persia" helping lead June in (and depending on your preferences, "Sex And The City 2"), and everyone raving on about "Inception" (which I'll get around to seeing at some point). However, with the exception of "Prince of Persia," there haven't been many good adventure movies; most of the films promising adventure and romance have fallen flat on their faces (see The Killers, Knight And Day, The Bounty Hunter, etc). To my rescue comes Uncharted, an excellent summer blockbuster experience at an excellent time.

For those not in the know (and it's worth reestablishing even if you are), Uncharted is an action-adventure game in the vein of adventure serials from the 1930's and recent movies inspired by them ("Raiders of the Lost Ark," "Romancing the Stone," etc). It combines platforming and exploration with cover-based gun battles à la Gears of War, and serves it over a lush, tropical environment that drips with the feeling of summer escapism.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a soft spot for treasure-hunting stories. I blame it on "Duck Tales."

The plot is pure pulp. You play as Nathan Drake (Nolan North), descendent of the famed explorer Sir Frances Drake and amateur treasure-hunter in his own right. The game opens with Nathan discovering the coffin of Sir Frances Drake, only to find it completely empty, except for a diary from Drake, detailing that he did not die, but in fact set out for one last discovery. From there, we follow Nathan as he attempts to find the treasure written about in Drake's diary, assisted by his partner Victor "Sully" Sullivan (Richard McGonagle) and journalist Elena Fisher (Emily Rose). The trio explores South American ruins and solves ancient puzzles, all while fending off a rival group of treasure hunters.

Uncharted is a deliberately and ambitiously cinematic game, which is to say that it aspires to its movie heritage much more so than other games "inspired" by the works of cinema. There are many instances during the game when the camera pans back to let you drool at the environment, and dialogue between characters is reminiscent of movies from the 40's, with characters bantering back and forth and generally sounding much livelier than your average game protagonists.

Speaking of the protagonists, Uncharted contains three of my new favorite game characters. I love Nolan North's everyman portrayal of Nathan Drake (heck, he's spent most of the last three years reprising the role!), and he has an effortless charm I couldn't help but like; he basically does for the half-tucked T-shirt what Indy did for the Fedora. McGonagle's Sully is a gruff, older figure often involved in movies like this, but his crotchety manner is endearing. Rose's Elena is a character all-too rare in gaming: a strong, independent woman who holds her own in the action. Far from Princess Peach, Elena kicks ass right along with the boys, helping Nathan in a firefight rather than letting him mop things up himself. Together, they form an ensemble cast whose charisma drives the action as much as the plot does.

They may not look like much, but they're three of the best-realized characters in gamedom, and it's a pleasure getting to know them throughout the game.

Adding to the game's cinematic flair is a wonderful, exciting soundtrack composed by Greg Edmondson, who also did the music for "Firefly." Edmondson mixes sweeping, traditional-sounding strings and brass with tribal drums and unusual-sounding instruments, creating a thrilling and involving soundscape that underscores the action perfectly.

Lastly, helping tie together the feeling of watching a killer summer movie (I have a fair amount of affection for these) are the DVD-style extras. Throughout the game are hidden trinkets; finding these trinkets unlock a smattering of bonus features, from concept art of Nathan and the environments to several full-on making-of featurettes. Similar to DVD features, these bonus features helped expand my understanding about the game and added significantly to my appreciation of it; why more titles don't do this is a mystery to me.

You'll notice that I've spent four or five paragraphs enumerating the game's many presentational strengths and almost none talking about the gameplay. This is because the gameplay, while pretty fun, is not particularly memorable. As I mentioned before, the gunplay is a serviceable Gears of War imitation; Nathan takes cover behind objects, peaking out periodically to take shots enemies. The guns actually feel more powerful than GOW's tissue-paper-and-frozen-pea-shooting weapons, though it still takes a rather large number of bullets to take down enemies, considering you're mostly fighting shirtless Somali pirates.

You'll spend a good amount of time trading bullets with the local mercenary scum.

The platforming segments are pretty fluid, and work well for the most part, acting as a showcase for Uncharted's beautiful animation system; Nathan transitions in and out of climbing animations in a surprisingly lifelike and natural manner. However, there are many instances where Nathan will miss his jump because you either misjudged the jumping distance or jump at a piece of the background you mistake for a graspable ledge.

There are also several segments where Nathan and Elena hop on a jet-ski. These represent the nadir of the Uncharted experience; the gameplay isn't terrible, but they kill the pacing dead, and overall don't add anything to the game. One segment in particular involving exploding barrels and waterfalls caused me to contemplate shutting it off for the night in frustration, but I stuck with it, and it eventually ended; the best thing to be said about the jet-ski parts is that they're short and infrequent.

It's not that they're bad, it's that they're not as good as the rest. And they're slow and tedious. Whatev.

However, none of the gaffes and missteps affect the experience enough to tarnish what Naughty Dog has put together. With a wonderfully pulpy story, a strong cast of characters, and a polish akin to the best adventure movies, Uncharted is a well-executed combination of Indiana Jones thrills and next-gen gaming standbys. I cannot wait to play the sequel.

If I Could Save Time In A Bottle... - Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time Trailer Impressions

As a fan of both video games and movies, I am generally comforted by the knowledge of two constants in the universe: movie-to-game adaptations often aren't worth the DVD they're pressed onto, and game-to-movie adaptations are worth even less. Most game-movies seem to either miss the point of what made the game cool in the first place (the most recent offender I can think of is "Max Payne," a film that I can add to my short list of movies I QUIT WATCHING OUT OF BOREDOM) or just go completely bat-guano crazy with the license and shoehorn characters and plots into scenarios they shouldn't go (the Street Fighter movie. 'Nuff said).

That said, I have had high hopes for the Prince Of Persia movie that has been in production for a while now. There are two reasons for this:

1) Jerry Bruckheimer, the film's producer, turned a theme park ride into a multi-billion dollar franchise, and has consistently produced movies and TV that have been, at the very least, entertaining.

2) Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time was one of my favorite games from last generation. I loved how creative the parkour platforming was, I loved the romance and grandiosity of the Middle Eastern setting, and I loved how the tale seemed right out of the pages of Arabian Nights (having read the thing twice, I feel qualified to make that statement).

The original Sands Of Time had the Arabian Nights vibe running out of its ears.

Which leads to the trailer. Apparently this trailer plays alongside "2012" when it comes out next Friday, but it made its way onto the internet within the past couple days. What can we expect from the film judging by the trailer? Well, that's a bit tough to say.

Let me explain. I love movie trailers; they're some of my favorite ways to enjoy movies, as they let me use my imagination to take the good bits and imagine how everything is ties together. However, movie trailers aren't always indicative of the final release. Take "300," for example. I didn't mind the movie so much, but the trailer is approximately seven (7) different kinds of epic, and is today still more entertaining than the actual movie. On the other side, I was unimpressed when the trailer for Pirates Of The Caribbean first came out (the "try wearing a corset" line totally killed me), but I absolutely love the movie.

That said, we can make a couple unfounded judgment calls and speculate about what me might be able to expect. Here we go!

Mediocre trailer, great movie.

The setting and colors in this movie looks absolutely gorgeous. Part of the reason I love PoP is the sense of grandeur that the Middle Eastern setting provides, and this trailer hits that right on the head. Expansive, beautiful cityscapes; bright, hot, and expansive deserts; stone buildings perfect for climbing; like Kingdom Of Heaven before it, I just can't help but look at the edges of the screen to see all of the sights. The colors are earthtone without seeming washed out or dull, and everything is crisp and vivid. At the very least, this will be quite a movie to look at as well as watch.

When I heard about the casting of Jake Gyllenhaal as the protagonist, Prince Dastan, I raised a quizzical eyebrow; I don't normally associate the main character of a Big Summer Blockbuster with Homer Hickam from "October Sky." However, now that I've seen him onscreen I think he has potential. The thing I like about JG is his feeling of an everyman; similar to Tobey McGuire or Shiah LeBoeuf, he has a way of taking a character in extraordinary circumstances (a boy given superpowers, a guy whose car transforms into a Gundam) and making him relatable. He also has a subtle charm about him that also helps sell it, but enough about my celebrity crushes.

Gyllenhaal and Gemma Arterton (Strawberry Fields from "Quantum Of Solace"!) offer a decent chemistry as Prince Dastan and Tamina.

The action seems fun. Some jumping off of walls, some sword fights and perilous dodging, and a couple cool shots of Prince Dastan stopping or reversing time. This is an element that I hope they don't play up too much, but judging by how the trailer is balanced between plot and fan service, I think the director knows what he's doing.

Speaking of the director, the movie is being handled by Mike Newell, whom you might remember from "Harry Potter And the Goblet Of Fire" and "Mona Lisa Smile." Though I didn't particularly enjoy the screenplay in "Goblet," (too much not-dialogue; it didn't feel enough like a "movie"); I thought the pacing and style of the picture was pretty good, so I think it's being handled by a talented person.

In Iran, Iran so far away...

I think what excites me the most is what the trailer DIDN'T do. It didn't try to retell all of the events from the game, and it didn't try to make everything seem too contemporary. What we have instead is a movie that knows it is part of the Historical Epic/Summer Blockbuster genre, and isn't too caught up with pleasing hardcore fans. Instead of winking at the niche audience that has played the game, Disney has taken the license to a fantastic game and used it as a creative springboard for one of their blockbuster movies, making it just as accessible to non-gamers as Pirates was to people who haven't been to Disneyland.

But then again, this could all change come next May. After all, the trailer is just a collection of images and sounds from the movie, edited together out of context, hoping to coerce curious people into seeing it. In that regard, they've done a darn fine job. I will be excited for this movie all the way until it launches on May 28th, 2010.

In case you wanted to check it out for yourself, here is the vid, courtesy of Myspace.

Super Metroid (SNES) + Testermix - Fall '09

Super Metroid has been a game that I've heard for what seems like forever; I think the first time I remember someone singing its praise was when I first subscribed to Nintendo Power in 1996. Yeah. It's been around a while. It's become popular because of its deft combination of intense action, creative platforming, and deep (literally) exploration, along with its polished graphics and atmospheric soundtrack. Moreover, the game imparts a sense of isolation on the player that sticks around through the adventure; Samus Aran is without a doubt all alone and fighting for survival from the moment the player presses start.

Super Metroid has received lots and lots of hardcore gamer love, and I think they have several points. There is undoubtedly a huge sense of accomplishment in finding all of the hidden items, and the run-and-gun action makes for some intense boss fights. The game is also gorgeous, with some great looking sprites and creative art direction. However, I have a couple gripes regarding the gameplay, though they may have to do more with my gaming preferences vs. the actual quality of the game (aka, it's fun for others, just not for me).

Greatest game ever?

First things first, a description for the uninitiated. Super Metroid is a 2-D sidescroller for the Super Nintendo that follows the exploits of bounty hunter Samus Aran. The previous two games for the NES and Game Boy involved Samus hunting down dangerous, life-sucking aliens called Metroids. In the first one for the NES, space pirates had stolen the creatures from the Galactic Federation in order to turn them into weapons (think "Aliens"), and it was up to Samus to destroy both the pirates and the Metroids they stole.

In the second one for the Game Boy had Samus traveling to the Metroid's home planet of SR388 (sounds like a zip code to me) in order to destroy all of them. At the end of the second game, Samus discovered a newly-hatched Metroid, which mistook Samus for its mother. Samus lead the Metroid back to the Galactic Headquarters so that scientists could study the creature.

Super Metroid picks up shortly after the end of the second game. It begins with Ridley, an uber badguy from the pirates, stealing the Metroid away, and hiding out on the planet Zebes. Samus vows to finish it this time, once and for friggin' all.

Justice has a blaster for an arm.

The gameplay was unique for its time in its emphasis on exploring. Instead of progressing from left to right as in most platforming games (Mario, Sonic, Donkey Kong Country, etc), players were dropped into the world and had to find their way on their own. The player progressed by defeating area bosses and earning new items, opening up new areas that couldn't be accessed before. For example, the player comes to a the bottom of a tall canyon without providing a way to get to the top. The area is inaccessible at the time, but when the player defeats the next boss and gets the Ice Beam, he can come back and freeze the floating enemies, creating platforms to jump on so that he can get to the top.

Further adding to the need to explore are the hidden items. Scattered around the environment are hidden items that increase the players life, how many missiles or bombs he can hang onto, or other powerups like that. The game can be beaten without finding all of these, but they provide an incentive for exploring everything you can in the game. Also, when the game is beaten, it displays a) the time it took you to beat the game, and b) the percentage of items you found, adding an element of competition to the game; contests of who can beat the game the fastest while finding all the items are STILL going on to this very day!

This sort of TV-picture-taking happens surprisingly frequently with games like this.

So what did I think of it? Alarmingly similar to my previous post regarding The Beatles: I can understand why it is revered, but I'm not as head-over-heels about it as some are. Let me explain. I did have a fun time exploring the environment, finding hidden items, and watching my initially blank map become filled. I also enjoyed the platforming elements of the game, as I'm always a sucker for jumping on things.

However, there were a couple things about Super Metroid that just didn't gel well with me and my gaming steez. The biggest of these is the complete and total absence of direction in the game. When I say that the game drops you in, I mean that you step out of your spaceship at the beginning of the game without a CLUE of what you're supposed to do first. There are moments in the game where you defeat a boss, and you stare at the screen wondering what happens next, not realizing that the boss drained the lava in another (very far away) part of the map, and that you have to backtrack to a specific area in that part of the map and try to find some hidden door to let you progress.

This is the map screen. You and it will be BFFs by the time the end rolls around.

This is something that gamers just did back in 1996, but I'm not sure if I've ever been a fan of this style of progression. At least tell me where to go next! I don't have time to look at every single corner of the map where I think I might be able to use a Power Bomb! Sure it's rewarding to finally find the elevator that takes you to the next area, but unless I set aside an evening where I know I'm going to get frustrated looking around for a stupid hidden breakable floor (and keep in mind, I play games to unwind), I'm probably not even going to bother to play this game very often. The world record time for finishing the game is 32 minutes and 27 seconds. In the nine months from when I bought it and when I finished it, my game-beating time was 9 hours and 32 minutes. Most of that was aimless wandering. Fun.

You wouldn't know by looking at the picture, but there's a hidden passage way to some hidden power-ups under those real-looking-but-totally-fake spikes. How would you even figure that out?!

Apart from that, the game was pretty fun, but I sure wouldn't put it at the top of my list. When I knew where to go (EXACTLY where to go), I had fun. When I didn't, well, I looked online for a friggin progression guide with pictures. At the very least, this game is worth a playthrough by hardcore gamers who want to know their roots about the Metroid franchise. If you're a casually gaming person with a limited amount of time to commit, though, I'd recommend it only if you have a Player's Guide handy.

8.25 / 10
33 / 40




On a slightly more positive note, here's the playlist for a mix I made the other day. It's a collection of some of the jams I've been listening to recently. Enjoy!

1) T.I. - Live Your Life feat. Rihanna
2) Weird Al Yankovic - CNR
3) The Lonely Island - Space Olympics
4) Outkast - Bowtie feat. Sleepy Brown and Jazzy Pha
5) Missy Elliott - Slide
6) Jonathan Coulton - Skullcrusher Mountain
7) Thin Lizzy - The Boys Are Back In Town
8) Forever The Sickest Kids - Whoa Oh! (Me vs. Everyone)
9) Team Teamwork - Pimp C, Li'l Keke & P.O.P. - Knockin' Doorz Down (Hyrule Field)
10) Team Teamwork - Slim Thug & Mike Jones - Still Tippin' (Great Fairy's Fountain)
11) S.S.H. - The Decisive Battle
12) Bomani "D'mite" Armah - Read A Book
13) Goodnight Sunrise - Leave The Ground
14) Beyoncé - Halo
15) The Material - No One Has To Know