Disney Series Kickoff -- Our Feature Presentation

Like many other ideas that I’ve outright pilfered from my friend Jordyn at Popped Density, I’ve wanted to do a blog series for a while. Yes, there’s Bluthanized, but that’s a whole separate blog, rather than a set of recurring features. After foraging around for ideas, I figured anything worth doing once is worth doing again, and straight jacked another idea from Density: starting immediately, I am going to do a series of blogs on the Disney canon of Animated Features.

As a child of the 90’s, you may be unsurprised to know that I am a Disney-phile. Even in a time when quality animation was at an all time high (Cartoon Network, The Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and Fox Kids were just a few of my outlets), I’ve always preferred the cleanly-drawn, family friendly approach the Disney took (compare an episode of “TaleSpin” to one of “Rugrats” and tell me if you spot a difference). I have been fortunate enough to have held onto my love of Disney even into my adulthood, and having more disposable income has allowed me to purchase some of my favorites from back in the day.

One of these things is not like the others...

Yes, this idea is far from original (hell, The Antagony and Ecstasy already did all 49 of them in far more detail than I can ever hope to match), but it’s one I hold near to my heart; as mentioned above, I love the Disney movies, and this will be a fun way to accomplish three tasks:

1) View every movie in the Disney canon – I’ve seen a good chunk of the features, but not all of them yet, and I’m intensely curious about some of the lesser-seen features like Saludos Amigos and The Black Cauldron

2) Keep my writing skills sharp – I’m not sure if you folks have noticed (with any luck, you haven’t), but I can often run into writer’s block about what to make my entries on, to the point where deciding to write on for an entry can be more difficult than doing the doggone thing. This will give me a set of guaranteed entries

3) OWN every movie in the Disney canon – That’s right, chubies, my DVD self is going to house all of them one day. Prior to this entry, I was actually waiting until I got to 15 movies before I started, so I would have some breathing room between buying them, but now that I’m at 15, I can find a nice balance between purchases and watching the ones I already own. Besides, with the advent of Disney Blu-ray, this seems like as good a time to start collecting them as any.

No time like the present.

So how will I be going about this momentous task? I briefly considered doing them in chronological order (starting with Snow White and ending with Tangled, because heaven knows it’ll be out on Blu-ray by the time I finish), but that sort of thing only serves a more academic and historical context; let me put it this way, do you want to read six straight entries on the package films of the 40’s?

No, instead I will be doing it the way I have dealt with most of my college career: blundering through it in a random fashion. That is, barring the first five entries (which I have selected out of my already-existing library), I will be randomly selecting what I will write about out of a hat (a nice Irish one I picked up at a garage sale for a buck). This ensures unpredictability and variety, or at least give the series a lack of direction and nice feeling of incoherency.

My weapon of choice for the next little while

I will continue to make additional entries on music, video games, and other Diversion 2.0 things, but this will be a bit of continuity in an otherwise anarchic and loosey-goosey blog format. Entries will be prefaced with the series title, in lieu of my name-based inside joke (seriously, no one knows what I’m referencing in my Where The Wild Things Are entry title), and posted on an at-least-weekly basis (famous last words).

Speaking of the title, this will be something I will need help with, and I will be reaching out to all of my faithful readers (ha) for suggestions! I’d like something that feels descriptive and simple, but I’ll settle for Juno­-style pretentiousness if it comes to that.

Anyways, this is a taste of what’s to come from Diversion 2.0 in the next little while. I hope this will be to your satisfaction, and if not, there’s always Bluthanized (or the inevitable sequel, where Jordyn and I take lots of drugs and marathon the 20^th Century Fox animated feature canon).

PS (10/13/10) - I've decided to call the series Our Feature Presentation, named after the announcement that let you know when the previews on the Disney VHS were over (say it with me: "And now, our feature presentation"). We'll see if this works or not.

War! What is it good for? – Prom Wars

Lord knows why we watched it, and even still why I'm writing about it, but this past weekend my friend Jordyn and I rented a movie called Prom Wars. We also rented Caveman with Ringo Starr, which should give you an idea of what the weekend was like. But I digress. Prom Wars isn't necessarily as bad as a teen comedy titled "Prom Wars" could be, though only marginally so, and for that I suppose I'm slightly grateful.

Prom Wars is about three prep schools (as the Napoleon Dynamite-esque moving sketchbook credits tell us): Selby and Lancaster, two all-boys schools, and an all-girls school whose name escapes me (let's call it Katherine Heigl Elementary). The main plot concerns Percy and Diana, two students who are dating. In the opening scene, Percy, who is from Selby, finds out that Diana had previously slept with a toolbox student from Langford, then gets drunk and chews her out before finally getting right-crossed and dumped.

She throws a mean right hook, Diana.

Through a series of happenstances that are both unmemorable and unremembered by me, Diana convinces the student body of Heigl (which is uniformly made up of attractive, short skirt and Chuck Taylor-wearing alterna-hotties (did I mention this is actually an indie flick?)) that they should make the two guy schools compete for who can take them to prom.

The resulting movie is the story (and montages) of the nerd-heavy Selby taking on the jocko taco Lancaster; the two schools compete in everything from arm wrestling to chess to a climactic paintball match. All the while, Percy and Diana continue to liaison and negotiate over the terms of the "war." The sets looks expensive and the characters are all garbed in Hogwarts-style boarding school uniforms, giving the impression that the movie could just as easily have been called White People Throw Money at Each Other.

Some of the competitions are actually fairly creative.

All of this sounds like an eye-gouging good time, right? Well, put down the tar and feathers, you Mob Song chorus members, you, because it's not that bad (just almost so). The leads in this movie are actually pretty good, particularly Raviv Ullman (of "Phil of the Future" pseudo-fame) and Alia Shawkat, who are both reasonably charming and fairly sympathetic, which is a feat considering how ridiculous this story is.

The expensive set I mentioned earlier also helps distinguish from other high school teen comedies in the genre. The movie has a slightly quirky edge that helped me get passed some of the clichés; it may be damning it with faint praise, but I never really felt compelled to leave the room in disgust, which is worth something in my book. It doesn't hurt that I actually did laugh in a couple places. A couple.

The cast, especially Ullman (pictured), go a long way to making the material seem less insipid than it actually it.

You're probably wondering why on Earth I am being so bloody generous to a movie that is at best mildly entertaining and at worst email-checkingly dull. I suppose it's because I've seen how deep and dark the rabbit hole goes; right before we went to the movie store, Jordyn watched I Love You Beth Cooper. Oh sweet mustache, that is an awful, awful movie. Awful in its clichéd and sketchy characters. Awful in its predictable plotline (not predictable as in "I bet this is what happens right now;" predictable as in "Wouldn't it be terrible if this actually happens right now?"). Awful in the notion that someone thought people would be entertained by it. Prom Wars definitely has issues, such as an ultimately forgettable story and characters (including an unrequited affection subplot that I could not tell you about even if you offered me one of these fabulously expensive sets), but it's not as absolutely terrible as Beth Cooper, where there was seriously a point where I had to go to Safeway for soda because I simply couldn't stand it.

Prom Wars could be worse. A LOT worse.

And this is ultimately what Prom Wars is: not quite the worst bad movie you've ever seen. I never felt like I was killing my brain cells like I was during Miss March, and I found it easier to swallow than other teen comedies like Van Wilder or the like. Movies like these make great drinking game movies; they're not terribly painful, they're pretty short, and they're readily available on NetFlix Instant Queue. In fact, I'll close this entry with a Prom Wars drinking game I thought up this afternoon:

Drink every time:

• The words "Victory" or "Defeat" flash onscreen
  
• The two little kids from the beginning have a scene
  
• Someone makes a not-so-veiled comment at one of the characters' sexuality (you'll know who)
  
• Percy and Diana meet somewhere incognito
  

And for added schnockticity, include every time:

• A scene is gratuitously in slow motion
  
• Percy's little sister is in a scene
  

La'chaim!

Oh, and by the way... - Bluthanized and Popped Density

I’ve just realized that I haven’t done a plug for my other blog, Bluthanized. What is Bluthanized, you ask? Well, Bluthanized is a series of blogs on the movies of Don Bluth, whom you may know as the creator of movies like An American Tail, The Land Before Time, and All Dogs Go To Heaven.

I’m co-authoring it with my friend Jordyn of Popped Density (which is another blog that fans of Diversion 2.0 should check out; it has less video games, but WAY more movies), and updates, though usually irregular, are a gang of laughs and contain deep and poignant insight into these films. Or, as is more often the case, it contains neither of these, but is worth reading anyway.

Why Don Bluth, you ask? Well, Jordyn and I had been wanting to do a crossover for some time now, but couldn’t figure out what to do it on. We decided on Don Bluth because

a) His movie canon had only been partly seen by either of us; I had seen most of his early stuff, Jordyn had seen most of his late stuff, and neither of us have seen Titan A.E., and

b) His film canon is only 10 movies long, so it seemed doable (this is an important feature).

At any rate, we’re a couple entries in, but we still have a fair few more to go before the all-important reveal at Titan, so you should check us out! On one of your many frequent Diversion 2.0 visits, stop by Bluthanized for some dual film-blogging action. And I wouldn’t say no to checking out Popped Density either.

As a small update, I’m gearing up for a few more entries, but mostly I’m watching reruns of “Freakazoid” and “NewsRadio.” Just an FYI.

Anyway, there’s today’s reading assignment. Go get ‘em, tiger!

Love is a Battlefield – Battlefield: Bad Company 2

As I've mentioned in previous entries, the original Battlefield: Bad Company is one of my favorite games. It combined solid shooting mechanics and a unique multiplayer mode with a strong feeling of levity; the explosions were enormous, the characters quipped and cracked-wise, and the experience was leisurely and pleasantly unforced. The game's quirks and unusual gameplay mechanics (the Vita-Chamber-style respawn system, the team-focused online modes, the large amount of ammo each gun could hold) gave Bad Company a unique flavor, no small order for a modern military shooter in an increasingly crowded market.

Unfortunately for me, many gamers did not share my sentiment about the game's atypical designs (yeah, it sounds up my own ass, but it's true). Bad Company was released a scant eight months after the genre powerhouse and sales behemoth Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and many gamers who purchased it expecting a similar experience received a rude awakening. For many who craved the corridor-driven, fast-paced action of Modern Warfare, this was the Wrong Way To Do It.

I preface this entry with those last two paragraphs on Bad Company only to help set up my disappointment with the direction taken by its sequel, Battlefield: Bad Company 2. This is a game that, by all means, should have been unarguably better than the first game, rather than fitfully so. Granted, many of the complaints that I have are pretty specific to me, so I don't expect many people to necessarily agree with me. I'm just explaining why, when you talk to me about Bad Company 2, I often give an exasperated sigh.

This is the box art from the first game. Notice how less-angry it looks from the box at the top. This should give you a good idea of the tonal differences in both games.

But onto business. Bad Company 2 promises more of the explosive action that helped make the first one a reasonable hit, and boy does it ever deliver. The destruction has been given steroids (the kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence), and now buildings can be fully razed to the ground. The single player mode also receives a fair amount of explosive set piece moments, and the sound design continues to make sweet, sweet whoopey to the eardrums.

Multiplayer has also been expanded upon. Before there was merely one mode with eight maps (Gold Rush, a game where players take turns attacking and defending crates of gold), and DICE added in the classic Conquest mode and eight Conquest-specific maps through a patch later on. Now, there are four modes of play: Conquest (teams compete to capture bases on the map), Gold Rush (renamed Rush; we'll discuss this in a bit), Squad Deathmatch (a team-based take on deathmatch-style games, with four teams of four competing to get to 50 kills first), and Squad Rush (two teams of four play a smaller game of Rush).

The game benefits from more varied (and much more beautiful) environments than the previous one; lush jungles, harsh deserts, and the freezing heights of the Andes await.

All of this looks to make a game that is, on paper, unequivocally superior to the first one, but it doesn't take too long for a few ointment-flies to rear their ugly heads (and, by metaphor extension, wings). The trouble, for me, started when I first booted up the single player mode. After playing through the first game's campaign several times and loving it, I fully expected to be thrust back into the mix with Sarge, Sweetwater, and Haggard, wrecking things and chatting about Truckasaurus Rex. Imagine my surprise when the game starts in 1944 on some Japanese-controlled island, where you have apparently been tasked with some gritty, espionage-y mission to find a scientist (though my cynical side says that they just wanted to reuse assets from 2009's Battlefield 1943).

The gritty, espionage-y stuff doesn't stop once you leave Japan and arrive in the present day. Oh no. Because many players were put-off by the corny jokes and antics of the first game (including, notably, Morgan Webb in her 2008 review), DICE decided to change its tack and go for a more serious, dramatic story. We rejoin Preston Marlowe and crew (with no attempted explanation of what happened after they supposedly left the army with a truckload of gold at the end of the first game) as they attempt to track down a missing super weapon that is being sought after by Russia (who, according to the loading screen for the mission, have managed to simultaneously invade Europe, South America, and East Asia; you'd think this would be a point of discussion). We're treated to a Clancy-esque tale of drama! suspense! betrayal! sacrifice! The results couldn't be more generic.

Grim, military faces. Get used to them, they're not going anywhere.

Some gameplay tweaks also detract from the first game's light, sandbox-y fun. The Vita-Chamber respawn system has been replaced by the industry-standard Reload From The Last Checkpoint system, which is fine in theory, but gets fairly aggravating. Unlike Modern Warfare, it's generally pretty hard to get an idea of how many bullets you can take until you croak, which lead to a couple moments of experimentation that had me waiting (and waiting!) for my game to reload; I eventually stopped wanting to take chances, and instead chose to grind through the corridors in a slow, safe, partially-dull manner. The under-barrel grenades that made the first game such an explosive playground are back in much shorter supply as well (the control scheme has also been reworked to make them more of a Strategic Option instead of an Oh Hell, Why Not). The upshot is that the single player is significantly less fun to play than the original.

Thankfully, the multiplayer picks up the slack significantly, though not enough to truly be declared the winner in my eyes. The small tweaks are enormous: players can now spawn on individual squad mates instead of a generic "Spawn On Squad" system, the classes have been rebalanced and play nicer together (particularly the Medic, transforming the game into one my roommate calls a First Person Healer), and the destruction makes for different crate-defending tactics. Bad Company 2 cleans up a number of flaws that its predecessor had, and makes it a fairly streamlines experience.

Multiplayer is back and still fun, but there are a few elements that keep it from being all it can be.

But then it also introduces a few flaws as well, most notably the presence of lag EVERYWHERE. Even with some recent patches, it always feels like there's a disconnect between the controller and my character. I thought that the difference was all in my head until I fired up the original Bad Company and found the game to be much more responsive (and even that's pokey compared to Modern Warfare and Halo). Map repetition is also a drawback; Bad Company 2 launched with only five maps in the main multiplayer modes. As someone who likes to play this game nightly, this is WAY too few to prevent a certain feeling of redundancy from setting in; by the time EA rolled out some DLC that increased the number to eight (which is how many the first game came with out of the box), I was so sick of the initial five that I played ad nauseum since launch day that it was too little, too late.

I'm being harder on this game than it deserves. It's ultimately a good product, with a robust multiplayer component, an ambitious single player game, and DICE obviously gave their all to create the best game possible. I'm also willing to acknowledge that many people who buy a Battlefield game will do so for the multiplayer, and won't event give the single player a second (or ever first) look. That said, this is a game that I find difficult to enjoy on the same level as the first. Perhaps I set myself up for this one, but is it too much to expect for a sequel to build on the strengths of its predecessor? This is one of those games where I can't wait for the next one to come out; not because I want to play more (although I do), but because I can't wait for the developers to get it right this time.

Testermix – Summer Full Swing ‘10

Perhaps enough time has passed since the last one, or perhaps I've been restless lately, but over the weekend I threw together another mix. As with previous ones, this is a mix of songs that are new, songs that are new to me, and songs that I've had for a while but haven't put in my mix catalogue yet. Break out those earbuds!

1. M.I.A. – Paper Planes play Amazon
   
2. Heart – Crazy On You play Amazon
   
3. S.S.H. – Big Blue play
   
4. Jet Lag Gemini – Run This City play Amazon
   
5. B.o.B. – Bet I play Amazon
   
6. Over It – Waiting play Amazon
   
7. Jonathan Coulton – Skullcrusher Mountain play Amazon
   
8. Ke$ha – Your Love Is My Drug play Amazon
   
9. SR-71 – Right Now play Amazon
   
10. Tommy Tutone – 867-5309 play Amazon
    
11. Lady GaGa – Alejandro play Amazon
    
12. Boston – Peace Of Mind play Amazon
    
13. will.i.am featuring Thugnificent – D#@%-Riding Obama* play
    
14. Rick Springfield – Jesse's Girl play Amazon
    
15. Millencolin – No Cigar play Amazon
    
16. The High And Mighty featuring Mos Def and Skillz – B-Boy Document '99 play Amazon
    
17. Paramore – Decode play Amazon
    
18. Jay-Z – Thank You play Amazon
    
19. The Roots featuring John Legend – The Fire play Amazon
    
20. Iyaz – Replay play Amazon
    
21. The Outlaws – Green Grass and High Tides play Amazon
    

*came from The Boondocks episode "It's A Black President, Huey Freeman," spoofing the coattail-riding songs produced by the black entertainment community during Barack Obama's period as president-elect

Overall, this mix is fairly balanced between genres. Hip-hop, pop-punk, and 70's/80's tracks receiving five tracks a piece, with pop pulling up a close second with four tracks (including the autotune-tastic joke track from will.i.am and Thugnificent). The outliers are Jonathan Coulton's mad-scientist country love song and S.S.H.'s Japanese epic-metal cover of the Big Blue theme from F-Zero.

Invariably, songs from Rock Band end up sneaking their way into my mixes, and this time is no different. Last go-around it was "Ridin' The Storm Out" and "Monster" (yes, Lady GaGa is on Rock Band, and yes, it is awesome), and this time we get "Peace of Mind," "Skullcrusher Mountain," and "Green Grass and High Tides" (yes, this "Green Grass and High Tides"). Also referenced (though not officially counted) are Heart's "Crazy On You" (Guitar Hero II) and Jessie's Girl (Guitar Hero: World Tour).

Also going with the video game theme, we have a pair of tracks from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2: "No Cigar" from Swedish punk group Millencolin and "B-Boy Document '99" from former Rawkus Records members The High And Mighty. Both serve the function of being great songs and serving as nostalgia markers; listening to them reminds me of One-Footed Nosegrinding along the subway tracks in New York City.

At the end of the day, I'm much more satisfied the way this mix turned out, as compared to the previous one. It feels slightly less cobbled-together (mostly because I was able to iterate on the track order more, plus I wasn't limited to my songs like I was in China) and more me-feeling. It just goes to show you how play-testing your mixes will show you small things, like when one song feels just wrong put after another one (this mix had a lot of "This, Not That" moments, where I had to flip-flop several songs, rather than resequence an entire section). Enjoy to your heart's content! Maybe I'll get around to another full-length album sometime, but we'll save that one for another day. Until then, plug in the ol' iPod and git sum!

Duck Tales! Woo-ooo! – Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

Summer is well under way, and so is Blockbuster Movie season. We've had a fine crop this year, with "Iron Man 2" kicking off in May, "Prince of Persia" helping lead June in (and depending on your preferences, "Sex And The City 2"), and everyone raving on about "Inception" (which I'll get around to seeing at some point). However, with the exception of "Prince of Persia," there haven't been many good adventure movies; most of the films promising adventure and romance have fallen flat on their faces (see The Killers, Knight And Day, The Bounty Hunter, etc). To my rescue comes Uncharted, an excellent summer blockbuster experience at an excellent time.

For those not in the know (and it's worth reestablishing even if you are), Uncharted is an action-adventure game in the vein of adventure serials from the 1930's and recent movies inspired by them ("Raiders of the Lost Ark," "Romancing the Stone," etc). It combines platforming and exploration with cover-based gun battles à la Gears of War, and serves it over a lush, tropical environment that drips with the feeling of summer escapism.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a soft spot for treasure-hunting stories. I blame it on "Duck Tales."

The plot is pure pulp. You play as Nathan Drake (Nolan North), descendent of the famed explorer Sir Frances Drake and amateur treasure-hunter in his own right. The game opens with Nathan discovering the coffin of Sir Frances Drake, only to find it completely empty, except for a diary from Drake, detailing that he did not die, but in fact set out for one last discovery. From there, we follow Nathan as he attempts to find the treasure written about in Drake's diary, assisted by his partner Victor "Sully" Sullivan (Richard McGonagle) and journalist Elena Fisher (Emily Rose). The trio explores South American ruins and solves ancient puzzles, all while fending off a rival group of treasure hunters.

Uncharted is a deliberately and ambitiously cinematic game, which is to say that it aspires to its movie heritage much more so than other games "inspired" by the works of cinema. There are many instances during the game when the camera pans back to let you drool at the environment, and dialogue between characters is reminiscent of movies from the 40's, with characters bantering back and forth and generally sounding much livelier than your average game protagonists.

Speaking of the protagonists, Uncharted contains three of my new favorite game characters. I love Nolan North's everyman portrayal of Nathan Drake (heck, he's spent most of the last three years reprising the role!), and he has an effortless charm I couldn't help but like; he basically does for the half-tucked T-shirt what Indy did for the Fedora. McGonagle's Sully is a gruff, older figure often involved in movies like this, but his crotchety manner is endearing. Rose's Elena is a character all-too rare in gaming: a strong, independent woman who holds her own in the action. Far from Princess Peach, Elena kicks ass right along with the boys, helping Nathan in a firefight rather than letting him mop things up himself. Together, they form an ensemble cast whose charisma drives the action as much as the plot does.

They may not look like much, but they're three of the best-realized characters in gamedom, and it's a pleasure getting to know them throughout the game.

Adding to the game's cinematic flair is a wonderful, exciting soundtrack composed by Greg Edmondson, who also did the music for "Firefly." Edmondson mixes sweeping, traditional-sounding strings and brass with tribal drums and unusual-sounding instruments, creating a thrilling and involving soundscape that underscores the action perfectly.

Lastly, helping tie together the feeling of watching a killer summer movie (I have a fair amount of affection for these) are the DVD-style extras. Throughout the game are hidden trinkets; finding these trinkets unlock a smattering of bonus features, from concept art of Nathan and the environments to several full-on making-of featurettes. Similar to DVD features, these bonus features helped expand my understanding about the game and added significantly to my appreciation of it; why more titles don't do this is a mystery to me.

You'll notice that I've spent four or five paragraphs enumerating the game's many presentational strengths and almost none talking about the gameplay. This is because the gameplay, while pretty fun, is not particularly memorable. As I mentioned before, the gunplay is a serviceable Gears of War imitation; Nathan takes cover behind objects, peaking out periodically to take shots enemies. The guns actually feel more powerful than GOW's tissue-paper-and-frozen-pea-shooting weapons, though it still takes a rather large number of bullets to take down enemies, considering you're mostly fighting shirtless Somali pirates.

You'll spend a good amount of time trading bullets with the local mercenary scum.

The platforming segments are pretty fluid, and work well for the most part, acting as a showcase for Uncharted's beautiful animation system; Nathan transitions in and out of climbing animations in a surprisingly lifelike and natural manner. However, there are many instances where Nathan will miss his jump because you either misjudged the jumping distance or jump at a piece of the background you mistake for a graspable ledge.

There are also several segments where Nathan and Elena hop on a jet-ski. These represent the nadir of the Uncharted experience; the gameplay isn't terrible, but they kill the pacing dead, and overall don't add anything to the game. One segment in particular involving exploding barrels and waterfalls caused me to contemplate shutting it off for the night in frustration, but I stuck with it, and it eventually ended; the best thing to be said about the jet-ski parts is that they're short and infrequent.

It's not that they're bad, it's that they're not as good as the rest. And they're slow and tedious. Whatev.

However, none of the gaffes and missteps affect the experience enough to tarnish what Naughty Dog has put together. With a wonderfully pulpy story, a strong cast of characters, and a polish akin to the best adventure movies, Uncharted is a well-executed combination of Indiana Jones thrills and next-gen gaming standbys. I cannot wait to play the sequel.

Let's Get It Started In Here – Testermix Summer Starter '10

Yes, yes, I know, I know. I haven’t made a post in well over a month. Believe me, it’s not because there’s nothing going on here. Matter of fact, it’s probably the opposite, and that’s why I haven’t had time to post lately. But that’s a tale you shall hear another day, if at all.

At any rate, because I haven’t posted in so long, I thought I’d placate my loyal audience (all six of you!) by posting my latest mix. This achieves two things:

1) By posting this, I will have something to point to for the month of June, effectively (or perhaps not so) assuaging my fears that the only thing I’m doing with my blog is allowing it to collect e-cobwebs.
2) Because I made this mix, like, last month, I can accomplish the above with relatively little effort. All because I care!

At any rate, this is what I’ve been listening to lately (the making and listening process got me through a good chunk of my excursion to China). Enjoy Testermix – Summer Starter ’10:


1) REO Speedwagon – Ridin’ The Storm Out
2) Taylor Swift featuring T. Pain – Thug Story
3) Good Charlotte featuring M. Shadows and Sinister Gates – The River
4) Lady GaGa – Monster
5) David Guetta featuring Akon – Sexy Chick
6) Smile.Dk – Butterfly ‘09
7) Artist Vs. Poet – Car Crash
8) Panic! At The Disco – Time To Dance
9) Bowling For Soup – Punk Rock 101
10) Ke$ha – Tik Tok
11) Hey Monday – Run, Don’t Walk
12) Four Year Strong – Enemy Of The World
13) Jonathan Coulton – First Of May
14) Del Amitri – Roll To Me
15) Leona Lewis – My Hands
16) B.O.B. featuring Hayley Williams – Airplanes
17) All Time Low – Hometown Heroes; National Nobodies
18) Team Teamwork – M.O.P. – Ante Up (Battle!) [part of the Vinyl Fantasy VII comp]
19) Dorrough – Ice Cream Paint Job
20) Dragonforce – Through Fire And Flames


There you go. This 20-song set gets you about an hour and some change in my life. You should be so doggone lucky. But anyways. Hope you enjoy it!

I’m a Loser, Baby, So Why Don’t You Kill Me? – The Losers

"The Losers" is an ultra-stylized action flick that feels destined to end up on Spike someday. Based on a graphic novel and feeling like a video game (see the headline above), "The Losers" will satisfy those who are looking for a decent testosterone-filled thrill ride.

Everything about this film has "Guy Movie" written all over it, including lots of guns, constant violence, gratuitous bikini-clad chicks just standing around, and (I am not making this up) a scene in which a tightly-dressed uber babe shoots a rocket launcher into a group of exploding cars, all in slow motion. After the movie I felt like I should have a beer, or at least a Mountain Dew.

That's not to say I didn't enjoy it in places, but a lot of this movie felt like guilty pleasure material.

"The Losers" stars Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Clay, leader of a squad of wisecracking special forces, including hacker goofball Jensen (Chris Evans), vehicle man Pooch (Columbus Short), scarred second-in-command Roque (Idris Elba), and sniper extraordinaire Cougar (Oscar Jaenada).

As the movie opens, Clay's mission is to take out a drug dealer in Bolivia. But then the mission goes south, and Clay and his squad are betrayed and left for dead (well, sorta. You'll see).

After this, he meets Aisha (Zoe Saldana, whom you may have seen "Star Trek" and, to a much lesser extent, "Avatar"), a beautiful and enigmatic woman with an offer: she gets them back into the States, and they find their old leader for some payback.

From there, the movie's wheels start a-turning and we are treated to one quip-filled, hyper-edited action sequence after another, punctuated by scenes of villainy from Max (Jason Patric), a dirty CIA operative who gnashes his teeth and seems like a combination of Steve Carrell and Keyser Söze.

"The Losers" has style coming out the yin-yang, with bright colors, swaggering characters, and the aforementioned slow motion shots. The characters' back-and-forth banter during the missions help keep the film feeling light, and at a scant 98 minutes, the movie doesn't over-stay its welcome (though the ending all but promises a sequel).

This is a stylish guy movie for people who like stylish guy movies, and there's not much here to convert those who aren't into this sort of thing, but there are two reasons I would hoist this movie over a couple others in its genre (though it still doesn't quite touch my favorite summer throwaway action movie, "S.W.A.T.").

First is the squad-based nature of Clay's team. My favorite element of heist movies like "Ocean's Eleven" and "The Italian Job" is watching each character using their specialty work in concert, and this film takes the same sort of approach; the hacker hacks, the driver drives, and the sniper shoots people from like a mile away (seriously, Oscar Jaenada is channeling some Man With No Name action here).

Second is Chris Evans as Jensen. In addition to being a good reason to convince your girlfriend to see this movie with you (it worked for "Fantastic Four," right?), Evans brings a manic, quirky energy that livens up the picture whenever he's onscreen. From him came my favorite scene in which he belts out a falsetto rendition of Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" while waiting for an elevator (the movie has some seriously excellent treatment of that song, in fact).

While not a revelation in action movies, "The Losers" has enough stylish gunplay and comedic dialogue to make it a decent night at the movies. Those looking for a bit of substance with their popcorn won't find it here, but for those wanting a literal bang for their buck will get it in spades.

I’m Gon’ Wait Till the Midnight Hour – Top 5 Night Drive Albums

I love driving at night. Regular driving generally gets my jollies off pretty good, but I have a special place in my heart for night driving. There's something especially therapeutic about the subtle, steady vibrations of the road, the low rumble of the wind rushing past the hood, and white lines rushing past me and I plow my way through the darkness, occasionally interrupted by an orange burst of streetlight, my music and I enjoying our time together. I can think. I can reflect. I can listen to the tunes, or nothing at all.

I'm not gonna lie, I fresh off of a drive right now, which is why I decided to throw together a list of my favorite albums to listen to while going on a night drive. The conditions of a night drive are as follows:

1. The road is generally the interstate, highway, or backroad; I like to keep my speed steady on these little sojourns.
   
2. Somewhere where traffic is minimal. This isn't always necessary (sometimes you can't help but get caught up in a midnight truckdriver convention), but it's definitely a perk; negotiating other cars can be distracting and otherwise completely uncool.
   
3. Away from city lights. This one's pretty important, as I can focus more on the contrast between the brightness of my headlights and the night sky above. Plus, coming up on city lights from far away is pretty awesome.
   

Without further ado, here are some CDs you can throw on next time you're out!

The Crystal Method – Divided By Night

This is the new one from one of my favorite electronic groups, The Crystal Method, also responsible for previous songs like "Busy Child" (you've probably seen it on a bunch of movie trailers during the late 90's), "Name Of the Game" (that one "Listen all you motherf@$#ers" song that was probably also on a bunch of trailers), and the theme song for "Bones" on Fox.

I'll have to admit, it wasn't really up to par compared to their last album Legion Of Boom, but only in the sense that I had to get rid of a couple of songs before it was in full album-listening mode (there are a few tracks that have awkward singers competing with sampled vocals. Ick). Apart from that, it's some excellent "me and the road" companion music.

The keys and ranges that the songs are in are very subdued, while the steady pace of TCM's beats help me get in sync with the road. This is not an album for "active" (or even out-of-context) listens, but in the right setting, it really shines. Standout tracks include the opening, slinky "Divided By Night," the driving, sample-heavy "Double Down," and the chilled-out, synth-heavy "Sine Language," helmed by LMFAO (of "Shots" fame… yes, that "Shots"). I had to prune it of a couple tracks ("Come Back Clean," "Slipstream," and "Black Rainbows"), but once it was tightened up, it really came into its own; perfect for trance-ing out with the road.

BT – Movement In The Still Life

Another electronic album, but from a different standpoint philosophically. Whereas The Crystal Method is electronic with more on an "American" sensibility (the songs are less based on repetitive phrases than others in the genre), BT is total stereotypical techno. He's got the constant "ump-tish ump-tish" beats, the reliance on repeating samples, and a sort of European flavor to him (which makes sense, because he's English).

However, that being said, BT has always been one of the better traditional techno artists (up there with Fatboy Slim, IMHO), and MITSL is a great, constant road companion. He has several very chill, yet still very active songs on the album ("Madskillz – Mic Chekka," "Smart Bomb"), and several of his songs have a nice introspective vibe to them ("Godspeed" and "Mercury And Solace").

My one gripe with this album is the sheer amount of pruning I had to do to it. Similar to the previous album, there were a couple of songs that needed to be tossed, and it was frustrating to think about why they were there in the first place. Of the four tracks that I trimmed, three of them were momentum-killing slow songs, which not only sound blech at best, but also stop the album dead in its tracks. THREE DIFFERENT TIMES ("Shame," "Satellite," and "Running Down The Way Up"). It's frustrating because the rest of the album is so stark-raving GOOD! Eh. The last one was just a track I didn't care for, despite its relatively-fitting tempo ("Dreaming"). After separating the wheat from the chaff, though, this one's pure gold.

The Roots – Illadelph Halflife

The Roots has been one of my favorite groups for a long time, and this is one of my quintessential "it's night time" albums since I first bought it in May 2005. I remember many a Speech And Debate bus rides, where we'd be on the bus before the sun came up, and I'd be curled up under my blanket and plugged into my DiscMan (my iPod was broken at the time), listening to this fine slice of jazz hip hop circa 1996.

For those unfamiliar (I would guess many), The Roots are a hip hop band, meaning that all of their instrumentation is live (saxophone, bass guitar, drums, etc). This leads to some great, chilled-out sounding songs that lend itself well the road vibe. Heck, even into my senior trip I remember listening to this on the way back from Lagoon and watching the dark road go by.

I think my favorite part about the album is how the whole package comes together. The whole thing is about 1:27 shy of the maximum 80 minutes a CD is allowed, yet the package feels mostly cohesive. I like the interplay between Black Thought and Malik B, the two emcees in the group, and whole group plays well as a unit.

This is definitely a dark-sounding album; the subject matter is generally a bit of a downer (in between big chunks a battle rhyme, which we all know Andrew is a fan of), and everything is played on a low key, chilled out level. These qualities make this album not very versatile, but quite pleasurable to take on a lonely drive.

Circa Survive – On Letting Go

I'm not even a big fan of these guys, and I'm still kinda hazy on where I first heard them (it was probably in Regi's car, which is where all of my unfamiliar music drifts in). All I know is that there's something oddly soothing about their swirling guitars and choice of song keys. The lead singer's voice is strangely highpitched (not necessarily nasally, just highpitched), but this adds to the odd, dreamlike appeal of this album.

There was one trip in particular coming back from Missoula where Regi was uber tired, so I swapped him. He had been listening to some uber aggro music earlier, which always gets on my nerves in a calm situation. He explained that he needed to shock himself awake with the harder stuff. Upon my entering the driver's seat, I switched it to this one, and I was surprised to find that I was even more awake than I was when the heavy music was on. This, similar to Divided By Night, is a great album for synchronizing with the road, about tuning out everything but driving.

John Williams – Return of the Jedi (2-disc Motion Picture Soundtrack)

This is one I simply cannot explain, although I will make my best shot. Last year when I had no car, I would borrow Abi's Accord when dropping her off at her house in Montana City, which is a good 15 miles away from Carroll. This car did not have a tape deck, but it did have a radio. At the time, I had just ordered the ROTJ soundtrack because I was trying to complete the original trilogy soundtrack set. I was so excited to listen to it that I slapped it on my Chocolate 3 (which has an FM Radio tuner on it for listening to music through the car stereo) and would play it on the drive back after I dropped her off at home.

For those familiar with the movie, you will remember that it starts off on the Death Star II as the Imperial dudes welcome the visitation of Darth Vader, after which it then proceeds to following around R2-D2 and C-3PO through Jabba's palace. Aka, during the early portions of this movie, NOTHING HAPPENS. Making this an ideal soundtrack for using as background music while I was thinking and driving.

The soundtrack eventually heats up, but it's this slow burn (and general slowness until the "Battle Of Endor" tracks) that makes the album so appealing to me. It doesn't have to jump out and be flashy for me to communicate with it (more so the better, considering the setting), and the melodies are endearing and enjoyable, especially given the relative calmness of when I'm listening to this sort of stuff.

There you go. Next time you're needing to get out and get on the road, perhaps consider grabbing one of these for the road. Or perhaps you can picture and angsty-looking Andrew driving up and down I-15 listening to techno and John Williams; that should get my point across just as well.

Would You Like That Supersized? – DSi XL and Social Gaming

I love portable gaming. Love it. Over the years, I've probably owned about every iteration of the Game Boy (minus the Micro, and even then I was eying it for a while), and have absolutely loved my DS Lite. That is, until this last summer, when it went MIA.

I can't even think what happened to it. I told myself it was under my dresser for the longest time, but when I moved out of my room completely (my brother inherited it) it wasn't there. I was saddened. That sucker went everywhere with me: Italy, Japan, Salt Lake City for the Warped Tour, my entire then-present Carroll career (I remember sitting in my room freshman year, playing Final Fantasy Tactics Advance because Eugene and I didn't have a TV), everywhere. My only hope is that it's found greener pastures now, because it is sorely missed. Hell, I want to pour out a little liquor for it right now.

Goodbye, dear friend. You are truly missed.

I've been holding off buying a new one for a while now, partly because

1. I've been holding out hope that I will magically find it every time I go back to my parents' house (I feel like the boyfriend who's still waiting for his old beau to walk back through that door "any day now")
   
2. In truth, I hadn't really used it that much in the months leading up to its disappearance, and I didn't really want to buy the thing and not use it
   
3. I'm a college student, and have only so much disposable income (see part b for why this would affect my buying judgment)
   

I've scoped out other models at pawn shops (for excellent prices, might I add), but I haven't been able to push myself into buying one again.

With the recent release of the DSi XL, though, I've started having thoughts about repurchasing my lost companion. This comes largely from my reading habits; with the launch of new Nintendo hardware comes an inevitable tidal wave of "review" or "impressions" articles from various gaming and tech website, which I happen to frequent. Still, there is one thing I gleaned from those articles that has been starting to take hold in my mind: the DSi XL's potential for social gaming.

DS Lite (left) and the DSi XL (right). The thing is enormous; its screen is supposed to be almost twice as big.

Keep in mind, when I say social gaming, I mean not that others will be able to play with you, but that others will be able to experience the game you are playing with you. This is made possible by the XL's massive screens (seriously, they're freakin' huge!) and the greatly-increased viewing angle that comes with them (meaning that it's way easier to look over someone's shoulder and see what they're doing).

I mentioned my love of portable gaming. I also love social gaming. Some of my favorite memories are of playing Rock Band with a bunch of buddies or throwing down at a great big Goldeneye multiplayer party, and I am part of the camp that thinks WATCHING someone play games is underrated. I love sharing things I enjoy, and it only stands to reason that I would want to share my gaming experience with others.

Therefore, this combination of taking my games everywhere and inviting people to be interested in those games (potentially) is an intriguing one for me. Part of the reason I think I wasn't using my DS very much is because I often felt like I was excluding people from my presence whenever I used it. I have reached an age where people are no longer curious about what game I'm playing (lamentable, but them's the breaks), and I always felt guilty about shutting people out whenever I was gaming on the go. Hence the slowing-down of usage.

The XL is aimed mostly at older people (grandparents, etc) who may not have the eyesight required to squint at a tiny screen for hours on end. Hey, makes sense to me.

While I don't think that the DSi XL will magically make people gravitate towards my piece of handheld plastic, I do think that the potential exists for someone to want to sneak a peek at what might be going on in my hot little hands (for much of the same reason that people snoop out the cover of the book you're reading: the thing is huge enough to notice, and you might as well check it out). And that potential is enough for me to be confident enough to bring out my device of choice in public again.

Of course, the big obstacle at this point is price: the DSi XL retails for $189.99, which is a BIG chunk of change for something I will use pretty casually (not to mention that I have a large stack of games going unplayed as we speak). The pawn shop DS Lites I found have gone for about $80, meaning that I would face a price hike of more than a hundred bucks if I were to jump on this thing.

Still, I have a feeling that it would be pretty worth it to go for the XL: the screens are bigger, all reports indicate that it simply feels better to handle, and the platform sounds more usable in a group setting. With my family's upcoming trip to China on the horizon (which prompts an immediate excuse for the purchase of a portable gaming device), I think I'll have to set aside some money so that I can enjoy gaming on the go once again.

Anyone purchased a DSi XL and can tell me about it? Have any thoughts on the topics of portable or social gaming. Sound off in the comment section below! I would love to see what your ideas are on this subject that is close to my heart.