Our Feature Presentation (1/49) -- Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)

Because of the timing of when it came out, I actually didn’t end up seeing our first movie, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, until fairly recently. Atlantis came out in 2001, a year after I had moved to Bozeman, away from my cousins, my old friends, and basically anyone who I would have gone to see a Disney movie with (the last one I saw in theaters was Fantasia 2000 with my dad, and would not see another until Bolt in 2008). I remembered the marketing campaigns, though, with McDonalds Happy Meal toys and the inevitable Movie Surfers sneak previews on the Disney Channel. In a way, I’m glad I waited to see it, because I don’t think I would have appreciated it as much back then as I do now.

Allow me to explain. Even though I was well into my anime phase back then (which, in terms of action and pacing, is what Atlantis most resembles), I’m fairly certain I would have written off Atlantis as just another action cartoon, and not seen it for what it really is: one of the best damn adventure movies to come around in quite some time. Sure, it has its share of flaws and missteps, but if you’re in the mood for a rip-roarin’ flick filled with close calls, epic discoveries, and everything that makes 30’s movie-serials great, Atlantis is a sure bet.

The movie starts literally with a bang, as we witness the titular city sinking beneath a Poseidon Adventure-esque tidal wave. The plot then jumps forward to 1917, where we meet Milo Thatch (Michael J. Fox), a cartographer and linguistics expert from the Smithsonian Institute. Thatch has been looking for an ancient artifact called the Shepherd’s Journal, a book that supposedly reveals the location of Atlantis. His colleagues at the Institute aren’t having any of it, though; Milo’s grandfather spent all of his life searching for it, and the rest of the professors are quite sick of hearing about it.

The resemblance is curious, no?

Milo then receives a (rather sexy) invitation to meet with Preston B. Whitmore (John Mahoney), a reclusive (rather unsexy) billionaire who has found the book and wants to fund Thatch’s expedition. Before you can say “under the sea,” Milo finds himself with a crew, headed up by commander Rourke (James Garner, smooth as silk), a mess of digging equipment, and a tricked-out submarine that is equal parts Nautilus and Enterprise.

All is not smooth sailing, though, and Milo and the rest eventually find themselves stranded underground (the original pitch was an adaptation of “Journey to the Center of the Earth”), and they must find their way there by digging. That they eventually find the place goes without saying, partially because it’s par for the course in these sorts of scenarios, but mostly because it’s the title of the movie.

Something wicked this way swims.

The movie’s second half transitions from Raiders of the Lost Ark terrain into more Avatar territory, with the crew learning about the Atlanteans and helping them learn about themselves (their reading abilities have atrophied a trifle in the 3000 or so years they’ve been underwater). There is also a twist that some will probably see coming, but it helps set up for the climactic and exciting third act (anymore than what I’ve said here I will not spoil, though if you’ve seen Stargate, you might have a good idea of what’s coming).

I eat this stuff up. I really do. I know that this story has been told at least 3.2 kajillion times with different details, characters, and scenarios, but I feel like it’s a durable story, and that it’s surprisingly Disney. Many of Disney’s stories are about self-discovery and following your heart, and Atlantis carries this element swimmingly (bahaha). I think it’s reasonable to balk at the traditional (and some would say unoriginal) setup that Atlantis hinges its plot on, but I love the sense of discovery and Gee Whiz enthusiasm brought to the table by films like these.

I also love the broadly-sketched characters that make up the crew. They’re often defined with one or two attributes (the homesteading cook, the tough-girl teenager, the Jar Jar, etc), and aren’t characterized incredibly deeply, but they definitely lend some color to the picture, and give Milo a chance to express different aspects of his personality. In particular, I’m a huge fan of fast-talking doctor Sweet (Phil Morris), and demolitions expert Vinnie (Don Novello, who uses his Fr. Guido Perducci character to hilarious effect).

Novello was also a writer and cast member on "Saturday Night Live" for a few years in the 70's.

What impresses me the most now vs. how I might have seen it then is the art style. Simply put, Atlantis is a pretty frickin’ movie. The city is an imaginative blend of Aztec-like stone structures and brightly-colored landscapes, and, unsurprising for a movie about an sub-aquatic city, the water effects here look really good. I also like the character designs, who look less rounded than other Disney films at the time and strive for a flat, comic book-style appearance. And the movie is in WIDE SCREEN, which looks damn impressive on a decent-sized TV.

The movie loses a bit of momentum between when the expedition reaches Atlantis and that thrilling third act I mentioned above, and I admit the whole Adventure Formula movie is one that may not necessarily appeal to everyone (and make no mistake, it is definitely a formula movie). However, in just the same way I enjoyed the hell out of Romancing The Stone, “Ducktales,” and both Uncharted games for the PS3, I also had a grand ol’ time with Atlantis: The Lost Empire. It’s been largely forgotten about in recent history, but do yourself a favor and check out this underappreciated gem in the Disney canon.

How I Watched It:

For a brief stint in 1999-2001, Disney released limited edition 2-disc versions of their new movies in addition to the single-disc versions (the only other time they would do this would be in 2003 for Brother Bear; even Princess and the Frog doesn’t have this luxury), and this is how I experienced Atlantis. The picture quality looks great 2.35:1 widescreen, and there’s a feature-length commentary by producer Don Hahn and directors Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise (for those keeping score at home, these are the same guys who did Beauty and the Beast 10 years earlier).

One the second disc, there’s a feature-length, two-hour documentary on Atlantis, which you can watch all at once or in nine different segments. It’s broken up into different aspects on the making, including inventing the mythology, designing the characters (including collaboration with “Hell Boy”-creator Mike Mignola), and voice work (which, as a fan of voiceover, I always appreciate). Also, for those who are into it, there are art galleries, test footage, and deleted scenes.

For those who are interested in the behind-the-scenes, I would recommend this version without hesitation. This edition is out of print now, but fortunately, because Atlantis isn’t necessarily the most popular Disney flick out there, you can score it used on Amazon for around $11.

Disney Series Kickoff -- Our Feature Presentation

Like many other ideas that I’ve outright pilfered from my friend Jordyn at Popped Density, I’ve wanted to do a blog series for a while. Yes, there’s Bluthanized, but that’s a whole separate blog, rather than a set of recurring features. After foraging around for ideas, I figured anything worth doing once is worth doing again, and straight jacked another idea from Density: starting immediately, I am going to do a series of blogs on the Disney canon of Animated Features.

As a child of the 90’s, you may be unsurprised to know that I am a Disney-phile. Even in a time when quality animation was at an all time high (Cartoon Network, The Disney Channel, Nickelodeon, and Fox Kids were just a few of my outlets), I’ve always preferred the cleanly-drawn, family friendly approach the Disney took (compare an episode of “TaleSpin” to one of “Rugrats” and tell me if you spot a difference). I have been fortunate enough to have held onto my love of Disney even into my adulthood, and having more disposable income has allowed me to purchase some of my favorites from back in the day.

One of these things is not like the others...

Yes, this idea is far from original (hell, The Antagony and Ecstasy already did all 49 of them in far more detail than I can ever hope to match), but it’s one I hold near to my heart; as mentioned above, I love the Disney movies, and this will be a fun way to accomplish three tasks:

1) View every movie in the Disney canon – I’ve seen a good chunk of the features, but not all of them yet, and I’m intensely curious about some of the lesser-seen features like Saludos Amigos and The Black Cauldron

2) Keep my writing skills sharp – I’m not sure if you folks have noticed (with any luck, you haven’t), but I can often run into writer’s block about what to make my entries on, to the point where deciding to write on for an entry can be more difficult than doing the doggone thing. This will give me a set of guaranteed entries

3) OWN every movie in the Disney canon – That’s right, chubies, my DVD self is going to house all of them one day. Prior to this entry, I was actually waiting until I got to 15 movies before I started, so I would have some breathing room between buying them, but now that I’m at 15, I can find a nice balance between purchases and watching the ones I already own. Besides, with the advent of Disney Blu-ray, this seems like as good a time to start collecting them as any.

No time like the present.

So how will I be going about this momentous task? I briefly considered doing them in chronological order (starting with Snow White and ending with Tangled, because heaven knows it’ll be out on Blu-ray by the time I finish), but that sort of thing only serves a more academic and historical context; let me put it this way, do you want to read six straight entries on the package films of the 40’s?

No, instead I will be doing it the way I have dealt with most of my college career: blundering through it in a random fashion. That is, barring the first five entries (which I have selected out of my already-existing library), I will be randomly selecting what I will write about out of a hat (a nice Irish one I picked up at a garage sale for a buck). This ensures unpredictability and variety, or at least give the series a lack of direction and nice feeling of incoherency.

My weapon of choice for the next little while

I will continue to make additional entries on music, video games, and other Diversion 2.0 things, but this will be a bit of continuity in an otherwise anarchic and loosey-goosey blog format. Entries will be prefaced with the series title, in lieu of my name-based inside joke (seriously, no one knows what I’m referencing in my Where The Wild Things Are entry title), and posted on an at-least-weekly basis (famous last words).

Speaking of the title, this will be something I will need help with, and I will be reaching out to all of my faithful readers (ha) for suggestions! I’d like something that feels descriptive and simple, but I’ll settle for Juno­-style pretentiousness if it comes to that.

Anyways, this is a taste of what’s to come from Diversion 2.0 in the next little while. I hope this will be to your satisfaction, and if not, there’s always Bluthanized (or the inevitable sequel, where Jordyn and I take lots of drugs and marathon the 20^th Century Fox animated feature canon).

PS (10/13/10) - I've decided to call the series Our Feature Presentation, named after the announcement that let you know when the previews on the Disney VHS were over (say it with me: "And now, our feature presentation"). We'll see if this works or not.

War! What is it good for? – Prom Wars

Lord knows why we watched it, and even still why I'm writing about it, but this past weekend my friend Jordyn and I rented a movie called Prom Wars. We also rented Caveman with Ringo Starr, which should give you an idea of what the weekend was like. But I digress. Prom Wars isn't necessarily as bad as a teen comedy titled "Prom Wars" could be, though only marginally so, and for that I suppose I'm slightly grateful.

Prom Wars is about three prep schools (as the Napoleon Dynamite-esque moving sketchbook credits tell us): Selby and Lancaster, two all-boys schools, and an all-girls school whose name escapes me (let's call it Katherine Heigl Elementary). The main plot concerns Percy and Diana, two students who are dating. In the opening scene, Percy, who is from Selby, finds out that Diana had previously slept with a toolbox student from Langford, then gets drunk and chews her out before finally getting right-crossed and dumped.

She throws a mean right hook, Diana.

Through a series of happenstances that are both unmemorable and unremembered by me, Diana convinces the student body of Heigl (which is uniformly made up of attractive, short skirt and Chuck Taylor-wearing alterna-hotties (did I mention this is actually an indie flick?)) that they should make the two guy schools compete for who can take them to prom.

The resulting movie is the story (and montages) of the nerd-heavy Selby taking on the jocko taco Lancaster; the two schools compete in everything from arm wrestling to chess to a climactic paintball match. All the while, Percy and Diana continue to liaison and negotiate over the terms of the "war." The sets looks expensive and the characters are all garbed in Hogwarts-style boarding school uniforms, giving the impression that the movie could just as easily have been called White People Throw Money at Each Other.

Some of the competitions are actually fairly creative.

All of this sounds like an eye-gouging good time, right? Well, put down the tar and feathers, you Mob Song chorus members, you, because it's not that bad (just almost so). The leads in this movie are actually pretty good, particularly Raviv Ullman (of "Phil of the Future" pseudo-fame) and Alia Shawkat, who are both reasonably charming and fairly sympathetic, which is a feat considering how ridiculous this story is.

The expensive set I mentioned earlier also helps distinguish from other high school teen comedies in the genre. The movie has a slightly quirky edge that helped me get passed some of the clichés; it may be damning it with faint praise, but I never really felt compelled to leave the room in disgust, which is worth something in my book. It doesn't hurt that I actually did laugh in a couple places. A couple.

The cast, especially Ullman (pictured), go a long way to making the material seem less insipid than it actually it.

You're probably wondering why on Earth I am being so bloody generous to a movie that is at best mildly entertaining and at worst email-checkingly dull. I suppose it's because I've seen how deep and dark the rabbit hole goes; right before we went to the movie store, Jordyn watched I Love You Beth Cooper. Oh sweet mustache, that is an awful, awful movie. Awful in its clichéd and sketchy characters. Awful in its predictable plotline (not predictable as in "I bet this is what happens right now;" predictable as in "Wouldn't it be terrible if this actually happens right now?"). Awful in the notion that someone thought people would be entertained by it. Prom Wars definitely has issues, such as an ultimately forgettable story and characters (including an unrequited affection subplot that I could not tell you about even if you offered me one of these fabulously expensive sets), but it's not as absolutely terrible as Beth Cooper, where there was seriously a point where I had to go to Safeway for soda because I simply couldn't stand it.

Prom Wars could be worse. A LOT worse.

And this is ultimately what Prom Wars is: not quite the worst bad movie you've ever seen. I never felt like I was killing my brain cells like I was during Miss March, and I found it easier to swallow than other teen comedies like Van Wilder or the like. Movies like these make great drinking game movies; they're not terribly painful, they're pretty short, and they're readily available on NetFlix Instant Queue. In fact, I'll close this entry with a Prom Wars drinking game I thought up this afternoon:

Drink every time:

• The words "Victory" or "Defeat" flash onscreen
  
• The two little kids from the beginning have a scene
  
• Someone makes a not-so-veiled comment at one of the characters' sexuality (you'll know who)
  
• Percy and Diana meet somewhere incognito
  

And for added schnockticity, include every time:

• A scene is gratuitously in slow motion
  
• Percy's little sister is in a scene
  

La'chaim!

Oh, and by the way... - Bluthanized and Popped Density

I’ve just realized that I haven’t done a plug for my other blog, Bluthanized. What is Bluthanized, you ask? Well, Bluthanized is a series of blogs on the movies of Don Bluth, whom you may know as the creator of movies like An American Tail, The Land Before Time, and All Dogs Go To Heaven.

I’m co-authoring it with my friend Jordyn of Popped Density (which is another blog that fans of Diversion 2.0 should check out; it has less video games, but WAY more movies), and updates, though usually irregular, are a gang of laughs and contain deep and poignant insight into these films. Or, as is more often the case, it contains neither of these, but is worth reading anyway.

Why Don Bluth, you ask? Well, Jordyn and I had been wanting to do a crossover for some time now, but couldn’t figure out what to do it on. We decided on Don Bluth because

a) His movie canon had only been partly seen by either of us; I had seen most of his early stuff, Jordyn had seen most of his late stuff, and neither of us have seen Titan A.E., and

b) His film canon is only 10 movies long, so it seemed doable (this is an important feature).

At any rate, we’re a couple entries in, but we still have a fair few more to go before the all-important reveal at Titan, so you should check us out! On one of your many frequent Diversion 2.0 visits, stop by Bluthanized for some dual film-blogging action. And I wouldn’t say no to checking out Popped Density either.

As a small update, I’m gearing up for a few more entries, but mostly I’m watching reruns of “Freakazoid” and “NewsRadio.” Just an FYI.

Anyway, there’s today’s reading assignment. Go get ‘em, tiger!

Love is a Battlefield – Battlefield: Bad Company 2

As I've mentioned in previous entries, the original Battlefield: Bad Company is one of my favorite games. It combined solid shooting mechanics and a unique multiplayer mode with a strong feeling of levity; the explosions were enormous, the characters quipped and cracked-wise, and the experience was leisurely and pleasantly unforced. The game's quirks and unusual gameplay mechanics (the Vita-Chamber-style respawn system, the team-focused online modes, the large amount of ammo each gun could hold) gave Bad Company a unique flavor, no small order for a modern military shooter in an increasingly crowded market.

Unfortunately for me, many gamers did not share my sentiment about the game's atypical designs (yeah, it sounds up my own ass, but it's true). Bad Company was released a scant eight months after the genre powerhouse and sales behemoth Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare, and many gamers who purchased it expecting a similar experience received a rude awakening. For many who craved the corridor-driven, fast-paced action of Modern Warfare, this was the Wrong Way To Do It.

I preface this entry with those last two paragraphs on Bad Company only to help set up my disappointment with the direction taken by its sequel, Battlefield: Bad Company 2. This is a game that, by all means, should have been unarguably better than the first game, rather than fitfully so. Granted, many of the complaints that I have are pretty specific to me, so I don't expect many people to necessarily agree with me. I'm just explaining why, when you talk to me about Bad Company 2, I often give an exasperated sigh.

This is the box art from the first game. Notice how less-angry it looks from the box at the top. This should give you a good idea of the tonal differences in both games.

But onto business. Bad Company 2 promises more of the explosive action that helped make the first one a reasonable hit, and boy does it ever deliver. The destruction has been given steroids (the kind that help our Olympic athletes reach new peaks of excellence), and now buildings can be fully razed to the ground. The single player mode also receives a fair amount of explosive set piece moments, and the sound design continues to make sweet, sweet whoopey to the eardrums.

Multiplayer has also been expanded upon. Before there was merely one mode with eight maps (Gold Rush, a game where players take turns attacking and defending crates of gold), and DICE added in the classic Conquest mode and eight Conquest-specific maps through a patch later on. Now, there are four modes of play: Conquest (teams compete to capture bases on the map), Gold Rush (renamed Rush; we'll discuss this in a bit), Squad Deathmatch (a team-based take on deathmatch-style games, with four teams of four competing to get to 50 kills first), and Squad Rush (two teams of four play a smaller game of Rush).

The game benefits from more varied (and much more beautiful) environments than the previous one; lush jungles, harsh deserts, and the freezing heights of the Andes await.

All of this looks to make a game that is, on paper, unequivocally superior to the first one, but it doesn't take too long for a few ointment-flies to rear their ugly heads (and, by metaphor extension, wings). The trouble, for me, started when I first booted up the single player mode. After playing through the first game's campaign several times and loving it, I fully expected to be thrust back into the mix with Sarge, Sweetwater, and Haggard, wrecking things and chatting about Truckasaurus Rex. Imagine my surprise when the game starts in 1944 on some Japanese-controlled island, where you have apparently been tasked with some gritty, espionage-y mission to find a scientist (though my cynical side says that they just wanted to reuse assets from 2009's Battlefield 1943).

The gritty, espionage-y stuff doesn't stop once you leave Japan and arrive in the present day. Oh no. Because many players were put-off by the corny jokes and antics of the first game (including, notably, Morgan Webb in her 2008 review), DICE decided to change its tack and go for a more serious, dramatic story. We rejoin Preston Marlowe and crew (with no attempted explanation of what happened after they supposedly left the army with a truckload of gold at the end of the first game) as they attempt to track down a missing super weapon that is being sought after by Russia (who, according to the loading screen for the mission, have managed to simultaneously invade Europe, South America, and East Asia; you'd think this would be a point of discussion). We're treated to a Clancy-esque tale of drama! suspense! betrayal! sacrifice! The results couldn't be more generic.

Grim, military faces. Get used to them, they're not going anywhere.

Some gameplay tweaks also detract from the first game's light, sandbox-y fun. The Vita-Chamber respawn system has been replaced by the industry-standard Reload From The Last Checkpoint system, which is fine in theory, but gets fairly aggravating. Unlike Modern Warfare, it's generally pretty hard to get an idea of how many bullets you can take until you croak, which lead to a couple moments of experimentation that had me waiting (and waiting!) for my game to reload; I eventually stopped wanting to take chances, and instead chose to grind through the corridors in a slow, safe, partially-dull manner. The under-barrel grenades that made the first game such an explosive playground are back in much shorter supply as well (the control scheme has also been reworked to make them more of a Strategic Option instead of an Oh Hell, Why Not). The upshot is that the single player is significantly less fun to play than the original.

Thankfully, the multiplayer picks up the slack significantly, though not enough to truly be declared the winner in my eyes. The small tweaks are enormous: players can now spawn on individual squad mates instead of a generic "Spawn On Squad" system, the classes have been rebalanced and play nicer together (particularly the Medic, transforming the game into one my roommate calls a First Person Healer), and the destruction makes for different crate-defending tactics. Bad Company 2 cleans up a number of flaws that its predecessor had, and makes it a fairly streamlines experience.

Multiplayer is back and still fun, but there are a few elements that keep it from being all it can be.

But then it also introduces a few flaws as well, most notably the presence of lag EVERYWHERE. Even with some recent patches, it always feels like there's a disconnect between the controller and my character. I thought that the difference was all in my head until I fired up the original Bad Company and found the game to be much more responsive (and even that's pokey compared to Modern Warfare and Halo). Map repetition is also a drawback; Bad Company 2 launched with only five maps in the main multiplayer modes. As someone who likes to play this game nightly, this is WAY too few to prevent a certain feeling of redundancy from setting in; by the time EA rolled out some DLC that increased the number to eight (which is how many the first game came with out of the box), I was so sick of the initial five that I played ad nauseum since launch day that it was too little, too late.

I'm being harder on this game than it deserves. It's ultimately a good product, with a robust multiplayer component, an ambitious single player game, and DICE obviously gave their all to create the best game possible. I'm also willing to acknowledge that many people who buy a Battlefield game will do so for the multiplayer, and won't event give the single player a second (or ever first) look. That said, this is a game that I find difficult to enjoy on the same level as the first. Perhaps I set myself up for this one, but is it too much to expect for a sequel to build on the strengths of its predecessor? This is one of those games where I can't wait for the next one to come out; not because I want to play more (although I do), but because I can't wait for the developers to get it right this time.

Testermix – Summer Full Swing ‘10

Perhaps enough time has passed since the last one, or perhaps I've been restless lately, but over the weekend I threw together another mix. As with previous ones, this is a mix of songs that are new, songs that are new to me, and songs that I've had for a while but haven't put in my mix catalogue yet. Break out those earbuds!

1. M.I.A. – Paper Planes play Amazon
   
2. Heart – Crazy On You play Amazon
   
3. S.S.H. – Big Blue play
   
4. Jet Lag Gemini – Run This City play Amazon
   
5. B.o.B. – Bet I play Amazon
   
6. Over It – Waiting play Amazon
   
7. Jonathan Coulton – Skullcrusher Mountain play Amazon
   
8. Ke$ha – Your Love Is My Drug play Amazon
   
9. SR-71 – Right Now play Amazon
   
10. Tommy Tutone – 867-5309 play Amazon
    
11. Lady GaGa – Alejandro play Amazon
    
12. Boston – Peace Of Mind play Amazon
    
13. will.i.am featuring Thugnificent – D#@%-Riding Obama* play
    
14. Rick Springfield – Jesse's Girl play Amazon
    
15. Millencolin – No Cigar play Amazon
    
16. The High And Mighty featuring Mos Def and Skillz – B-Boy Document '99 play Amazon
    
17. Paramore – Decode play Amazon
    
18. Jay-Z – Thank You play Amazon
    
19. The Roots featuring John Legend – The Fire play Amazon
    
20. Iyaz – Replay play Amazon
    
21. The Outlaws – Green Grass and High Tides play Amazon
    

*came from The Boondocks episode "It's A Black President, Huey Freeman," spoofing the coattail-riding songs produced by the black entertainment community during Barack Obama's period as president-elect

Overall, this mix is fairly balanced between genres. Hip-hop, pop-punk, and 70's/80's tracks receiving five tracks a piece, with pop pulling up a close second with four tracks (including the autotune-tastic joke track from will.i.am and Thugnificent). The outliers are Jonathan Coulton's mad-scientist country love song and S.S.H.'s Japanese epic-metal cover of the Big Blue theme from F-Zero.

Invariably, songs from Rock Band end up sneaking their way into my mixes, and this time is no different. Last go-around it was "Ridin' The Storm Out" and "Monster" (yes, Lady GaGa is on Rock Band, and yes, it is awesome), and this time we get "Peace of Mind," "Skullcrusher Mountain," and "Green Grass and High Tides" (yes, this "Green Grass and High Tides"). Also referenced (though not officially counted) are Heart's "Crazy On You" (Guitar Hero II) and Jessie's Girl (Guitar Hero: World Tour).

Also going with the video game theme, we have a pair of tracks from Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2: "No Cigar" from Swedish punk group Millencolin and "B-Boy Document '99" from former Rawkus Records members The High And Mighty. Both serve the function of being great songs and serving as nostalgia markers; listening to them reminds me of One-Footed Nosegrinding along the subway tracks in New York City.

At the end of the day, I'm much more satisfied the way this mix turned out, as compared to the previous one. It feels slightly less cobbled-together (mostly because I was able to iterate on the track order more, plus I wasn't limited to my songs like I was in China) and more me-feeling. It just goes to show you how play-testing your mixes will show you small things, like when one song feels just wrong put after another one (this mix had a lot of "This, Not That" moments, where I had to flip-flop several songs, rather than resequence an entire section). Enjoy to your heart's content! Maybe I'll get around to another full-length album sometime, but we'll save that one for another day. Until then, plug in the ol' iPod and git sum!

Duck Tales! Woo-ooo! – Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune

Summer is well under way, and so is Blockbuster Movie season. We've had a fine crop this year, with "Iron Man 2" kicking off in May, "Prince of Persia" helping lead June in (and depending on your preferences, "Sex And The City 2"), and everyone raving on about "Inception" (which I'll get around to seeing at some point). However, with the exception of "Prince of Persia," there haven't been many good adventure movies; most of the films promising adventure and romance have fallen flat on their faces (see The Killers, Knight And Day, The Bounty Hunter, etc). To my rescue comes Uncharted, an excellent summer blockbuster experience at an excellent time.

For those not in the know (and it's worth reestablishing even if you are), Uncharted is an action-adventure game in the vein of adventure serials from the 1930's and recent movies inspired by them ("Raiders of the Lost Ark," "Romancing the Stone," etc). It combines platforming and exploration with cover-based gun battles à la Gears of War, and serves it over a lush, tropical environment that drips with the feeling of summer escapism.

As far back as I can remember, I've had a soft spot for treasure-hunting stories. I blame it on "Duck Tales."

The plot is pure pulp. You play as Nathan Drake (Nolan North), descendent of the famed explorer Sir Frances Drake and amateur treasure-hunter in his own right. The game opens with Nathan discovering the coffin of Sir Frances Drake, only to find it completely empty, except for a diary from Drake, detailing that he did not die, but in fact set out for one last discovery. From there, we follow Nathan as he attempts to find the treasure written about in Drake's diary, assisted by his partner Victor "Sully" Sullivan (Richard McGonagle) and journalist Elena Fisher (Emily Rose). The trio explores South American ruins and solves ancient puzzles, all while fending off a rival group of treasure hunters.

Uncharted is a deliberately and ambitiously cinematic game, which is to say that it aspires to its movie heritage much more so than other games "inspired" by the works of cinema. There are many instances during the game when the camera pans back to let you drool at the environment, and dialogue between characters is reminiscent of movies from the 40's, with characters bantering back and forth and generally sounding much livelier than your average game protagonists.

Speaking of the protagonists, Uncharted contains three of my new favorite game characters. I love Nolan North's everyman portrayal of Nathan Drake (heck, he's spent most of the last three years reprising the role!), and he has an effortless charm I couldn't help but like; he basically does for the half-tucked T-shirt what Indy did for the Fedora. McGonagle's Sully is a gruff, older figure often involved in movies like this, but his crotchety manner is endearing. Rose's Elena is a character all-too rare in gaming: a strong, independent woman who holds her own in the action. Far from Princess Peach, Elena kicks ass right along with the boys, helping Nathan in a firefight rather than letting him mop things up himself. Together, they form an ensemble cast whose charisma drives the action as much as the plot does.

They may not look like much, but they're three of the best-realized characters in gamedom, and it's a pleasure getting to know them throughout the game.

Adding to the game's cinematic flair is a wonderful, exciting soundtrack composed by Greg Edmondson, who also did the music for "Firefly." Edmondson mixes sweeping, traditional-sounding strings and brass with tribal drums and unusual-sounding instruments, creating a thrilling and involving soundscape that underscores the action perfectly.

Lastly, helping tie together the feeling of watching a killer summer movie (I have a fair amount of affection for these) are the DVD-style extras. Throughout the game are hidden trinkets; finding these trinkets unlock a smattering of bonus features, from concept art of Nathan and the environments to several full-on making-of featurettes. Similar to DVD features, these bonus features helped expand my understanding about the game and added significantly to my appreciation of it; why more titles don't do this is a mystery to me.

You'll notice that I've spent four or five paragraphs enumerating the game's many presentational strengths and almost none talking about the gameplay. This is because the gameplay, while pretty fun, is not particularly memorable. As I mentioned before, the gunplay is a serviceable Gears of War imitation; Nathan takes cover behind objects, peaking out periodically to take shots enemies. The guns actually feel more powerful than GOW's tissue-paper-and-frozen-pea-shooting weapons, though it still takes a rather large number of bullets to take down enemies, considering you're mostly fighting shirtless Somali pirates.

You'll spend a good amount of time trading bullets with the local mercenary scum.

The platforming segments are pretty fluid, and work well for the most part, acting as a showcase for Uncharted's beautiful animation system; Nathan transitions in and out of climbing animations in a surprisingly lifelike and natural manner. However, there are many instances where Nathan will miss his jump because you either misjudged the jumping distance or jump at a piece of the background you mistake for a graspable ledge.

There are also several segments where Nathan and Elena hop on a jet-ski. These represent the nadir of the Uncharted experience; the gameplay isn't terrible, but they kill the pacing dead, and overall don't add anything to the game. One segment in particular involving exploding barrels and waterfalls caused me to contemplate shutting it off for the night in frustration, but I stuck with it, and it eventually ended; the best thing to be said about the jet-ski parts is that they're short and infrequent.

It's not that they're bad, it's that they're not as good as the rest. And they're slow and tedious. Whatev.

However, none of the gaffes and missteps affect the experience enough to tarnish what Naughty Dog has put together. With a wonderfully pulpy story, a strong cast of characters, and a polish akin to the best adventure movies, Uncharted is a well-executed combination of Indiana Jones thrills and next-gen gaming standbys. I cannot wait to play the sequel.

Let's Get It Started In Here – Testermix Summer Starter '10

Yes, yes, I know, I know. I haven’t made a post in well over a month. Believe me, it’s not because there’s nothing going on here. Matter of fact, it’s probably the opposite, and that’s why I haven’t had time to post lately. But that’s a tale you shall hear another day, if at all.

At any rate, because I haven’t posted in so long, I thought I’d placate my loyal audience (all six of you!) by posting my latest mix. This achieves two things:

1) By posting this, I will have something to point to for the month of June, effectively (or perhaps not so) assuaging my fears that the only thing I’m doing with my blog is allowing it to collect e-cobwebs.
2) Because I made this mix, like, last month, I can accomplish the above with relatively little effort. All because I care!

At any rate, this is what I’ve been listening to lately (the making and listening process got me through a good chunk of my excursion to China). Enjoy Testermix – Summer Starter ’10:


1) REO Speedwagon – Ridin’ The Storm Out
2) Taylor Swift featuring T. Pain – Thug Story
3) Good Charlotte featuring M. Shadows and Sinister Gates – The River
4) Lady GaGa – Monster
5) David Guetta featuring Akon – Sexy Chick
6) Smile.Dk – Butterfly ‘09
7) Artist Vs. Poet – Car Crash
8) Panic! At The Disco – Time To Dance
9) Bowling For Soup – Punk Rock 101
10) Ke$ha – Tik Tok
11) Hey Monday – Run, Don’t Walk
12) Four Year Strong – Enemy Of The World
13) Jonathan Coulton – First Of May
14) Del Amitri – Roll To Me
15) Leona Lewis – My Hands
16) B.O.B. featuring Hayley Williams – Airplanes
17) All Time Low – Hometown Heroes; National Nobodies
18) Team Teamwork – M.O.P. – Ante Up (Battle!) [part of the Vinyl Fantasy VII comp]
19) Dorrough – Ice Cream Paint Job
20) Dragonforce – Through Fire And Flames


There you go. This 20-song set gets you about an hour and some change in my life. You should be so doggone lucky. But anyways. Hope you enjoy it!